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Low Tide

I wrote a tribute to DZ's Gongkapas Times some time ago and managed to put it in line for Misha Omar's next album. However just this morning, the producer cum arranger took it out of the project. My guess is that there must be some dispute going on that I don't know about. It's not like it was rejected, but withdrawn, apa agaknya masalah dia eh? I was thinking of Misha's ethereal vocal prowess when I wrote "Haruskah Terpisah". I am definitely disappointed but then that is the nature of the profession. Even if you think your work might kick an a** or two, or just a few, occupational hazards are inevitable. Maybe I should consider a new job, tutup kedai. Eh eh, buat perangai lagi hari ni...macam attention-seeking pulak eh? I think it is more of an attention-deficit problem. I must learn to focus to do one thing well rather than poking my fingers in way too many pies.

Stress.

Jom tengok apa ada dalam fridge? Courtesy of the SB Diet Success Story.

All the way from San Francisco. Awesome!

Whoopeee! Whopper's Malted Milk Balls

Please ignore the small prints

So if you think my pipi bulat, you blame my twin okay? *wink*

Bay Window Bi*ching

So, have you all recovered from Eid Ul Indigestion that seems to be the commonest bug post-festivities? In all avoirdupois Boteroesque glory, the portly paunch is extra jiggly(Hallo there, my perut sayang...*wave wave*) and hey, I think the chin has doubled too. A quick once over reveals that I might have to go shopping for new pants soon. The weighing scale is dangerously tipping towards unhealthy BMI...Yikes! Okay, you can skip reading this if you're having a bad day, cuz there will be whining aplenty as the paras progress. I have been drumming over and over again about how much I would like to lose weight but not really getting down to the business of doing something about it, instead I keep buttering up the already so bountiful bulge with my makan sakan; gluttony. Not really helping eh?

Reality check, do I feel attractive? Not quite there yet lah, but then bersyukurlah. It's not like I am a waddling dugong with lipatan-lipatan melimpah ruah; overflowing, swelling folds (of fat). Okaylah, there are a few lipatan that needs to be toned up if I go to the extent of letting somebody do a pinch test on me.Some of the folds look inflated because of the accumulation of lipids under the skin. But do I want to give up my makan? It's not like I eat around the clock. But why am I disturbed when somebody notices that my face is round? Or that I always talk about food, which is, all together now, pretty much ALL THE TIME! But why am I panicky when CA lost 10 kilos post-Ramadhan without even thinking about cutting down? My recent trip to the pharmacy also a heart-pain(sic) one , I was bombarded with longwinded explication of the various products that can help me lose weight. Whatever confidence I have about being just right for a 30 year old, and a mom at that, went down the drain. And remarks about how I maintained my tembun-ness despite Aishah being an active and boisterous baby are bordering hurtful.

Some people do have the good heart of telling me, hey, people won't notice your being abnormally and unfashionably horizontally challenged, because you have an interesting personality. Yeah, thanks guys, I know that literally translates, "OYY, WHY YOU STILL FAT?!!"

Si Genit dan Si Cilik

Non-Conformist

I tell you, Aishah really needs to be brainwashed at some point lah! She likes to do the opposite of things. Benda lain excusable la jugak, ni dah kiblat songsang ni, abih tu tangan tarok belakang. Ish, budak-budak sekarang....

High and Low

Pakwe Usop aka Tok Sidang Logo

Pakwe, the Bugis clan patriarch is visibly ecstatic to see all his anak-cucu-cicit home for Raya. It's hard to believe that a few months back he was incapacitated, in the ICU and pretty much in the woods. His appetite is good and he is back to his old jovial chaq-bei-liao self. Alhamdulillah.

Jom nyorok belakang badan orang supaya tak nampak gumuk

Bapak( my father in law) on the other hand, is not in the mood to celebrate. He even refused to put on his kurta. Kesian Bapak. His legs have been giving him a terrible time. Even the doctors could not give a proper diagnosis. My Googling efforts gathered that he is suffering for the side effects of diabetic and hypertensive cocktail. MIL is also not very happy this time around as my SIL is away in Lahore. Lin had wanted to come back but MIL encouraged her to celebrate Eid with her husband this time since Lin came back to Singapore 3 years in a row previously. Little that she knew, the Lahori family do not celebrate Eid, and engage in mournful activities(cannot gripe about it because it is their culture) in memory of Lin's mother in law who succumbed to cancer 3 years ago. So now MIL feels bad for not letting Lin come back. Nangis-nangis budak tu nak balik. Kesian.

Ayah and Mak eating my lauk, while Diana,our pastry chef ngendeng nak masuk gambar.

Recent development on my Mak is also not very encouraging. Sigh. Make du'a we shall. Can't report much because I sedih la...

Mommie, where's my cow?

Aishah kalau balik kampung, she would do an "Ian Wright" and explore every nook and cranny to find Old McDonald's Farm. We found the goats and chickens easily. But the cows were MIA. When we found one, it looked sad.

Apo kono lombu ni? Sodeh ko?

Maybe they are traumatised by the number of their peers expiring in the rendang for Eid, so they went into hiding.

Ubat Gendut

So today is the 2nd day of Eid. At the last minute, we decided to make our way to Melaka yesterday after episodes of indecisiveness. Nak balik ke tak? Makwe( my step grandma) had earlier requested me to bring her some briyani. I was having quite a bit of a jam thinking about the amount of cooking that would take, as briyani MUST be complemented by other similarly tedious to prepare dishes like, dalcha and achar. On other days it would not be that harrowing lah, but for hari raya there are other staple dishes to help MIL prepare. Where got time and energy ma? So sorry lah Makwe, I could only prepare the dalcha and some 20 pieces of fluffy baguettes to distract you from your briyani fantasies. Bless Rasool(our masala supplier) for the idiot proof dalcha masala, I made a huge belanga without having to kill myself. InsyaAllah come Raya Haji, I will make you some briyani. That's what we eat for Eid Ul Adha anyway. Tak lah kelam kabut kan?

Dalcha

MIL, the executive chef, prepared her specialties, Bombay Chicken, Lontong and its condiments(kuah lodeh, sambal sotong and serunding). Missing from the table were ketupat, kuah kacang and rendang. This, my friends, is a big, big neon sign. This really means that MIL is about ready to hang her apron. Die! Die! Die la if next year I have to masak for raya.

Ayam Masak Merah aka Bombay Chicken

Naturally I ta pau-ed the Hari Raya spread for the Melaka folks to bedal. Ayah loves kambing but because of Mak's condition, it's been a while since he indulged in dishes that are essentially recipes to hypertension and cancer. He just said, "Ha? Kambing? Elok la tu!" And proceeded to kendurikan the stuff I brought from Singapore. I am reminded of the days when I used to menggigil when I was serving Ayah his meals. He used to be quite finicky, or perhaps I was such a terrible cook then. Heh.

Clockwise from T-L:

Gulai Ayam Belanda,Rendang Palembang, Rendang Minang & Sambal Bali

In exchange, I was given 4 different types of curries and a few sticks of lemang. Truth be told, I could not bring myself to eat duck, chicken and turkey in one seating. Dah le dalam perut ada kambing. No one's mentioned that Pakwo Akob( our family game hunter) caught anything this year, so I did not get my annual kijang, kancil and rusa feast. I was having a terrible headache almost the whole time I was in Melaka so I was not in the right state to really eat. Dang!

Asam Podeh Ikan Sagai

Turned out, I didn't really eat anything save for Mak's lychee jelly and Diana's cookie until much, much later when I visited Achik, my Ayah's brother. The first words Achik uttered when I arrived was a soulful tune to my head. He had just returned from the sea earlier and that there was a spread of all my favourite things waiting for me at the dinner table.

Sambal Belacan, Ikan Cencaru Bakar & Ulam Jering/Kacang Botol

Ese paling gomar yang nia la. Humang Aihh!

Achik Nuar really knows the way to my gut, eh, heart. Everything tasted just the way arwah Makwe used to cook. None too overpowering, yet refreshingly flavourful. Looks like Achik Aziah has inherited her MIL's skills. Even CA thinks, "Rumah Achik memang boleh makan". Hehe.Sorry, B. Keluarga lain macam2 pantang makan. Heh.

Makan at Achik's is truly worth the balik kampung trip!

Eid Saeed

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI

Mohon dimaafkan
kejelekan and kesilapan

yang terdahulu dan kemudian

yang tersembunyi dan yang kelihatan

Semoga Aidilfitri ini dilimpahi
Barokah

Ucapan Tulus Ikhlas

Anwar Mohamed

Intan Nazrahayu Nasir

Safiyya Aishah Anwar

Four Years and Counting

Let me not to the marriage of true minds admit impediments

Selembut bicara

Sehalus sentuhanmu

Layangan pesonamu

Tak mungkin ku lupa

Jelingan pertama

Nan indah penuh makna

Akan kusahut cintamu itu

Bersama kita menuju bahagia

Takkan lagiku sendiri

Kasih yang berlabuh kini

Terasa keabadian cinta kau beri

Mungkinkah daku bermimpi

Sebahagia begini

Ini bukan (nya) ilus

Oh kasih

Seindah irama

Gemersik suaramu

Mengalun sepiku yang merindu

Tuhan merestui

Bahagia begini

Kasihmu nan suci

Ikan Di Laut Asam Di Darat

Four years ago today, for him her heart entwined with hope for eternal happiness with fairy tale fantasies. Today the both of them keep the partnership industrious and in some kind of order by making conscious efforts to be reasonable and amiable, just so that two people can live together without too much melodrama. While there are inevitable turbulent times for this hot-headed I-must-win-or-else couple , more prevalent is the tenderness and passion that keep them together.

Still early to call them old salts in the sea of marriage, yet one half thinks she falls in love with her better half everyday. The better half maintains that, "Of course I love you, B." and that sweet nothings are just that, nothing. Yet he keeps making her feel like a a hormonal teenager dumbstruck on what has she done right to deserve this man.

One thing for sure, somebody/some people remembered them in his/her/their prayers. Alhamdulillah.

Deep down inside, she thinks "Hey, I sc*ewed up waaaaaaay too many times before and now is my time to hop, skip and jump on the clouds of all things nice."

Moga Aman Selalu. Amin Ya Rahman Ya Rahim.

P.S: Of course I love you too, Ah Bee. Ready for take?

Manggis Came to Town

I am trying to remain as calm as possible as everything that could possibly go wrong with a computer went fantastically wrong with almost all the computerized gizmo and gadgetry that I have in my house. You know I have been trying to resuscitate my studio back to life for nearly a month in vain. It's a bit like CA's futile attempt to get marine fishkeeping right. The moment I thought I was home free, something goes wrong. Sheesh.

I really felt incapacitated without my Thinkpad perpetually stuck between my double-double cheeseburger (read: multi-tiered tummy) and turkey drumsticks (read: supersized thunders). The Asus merajuk on me, and won't give me WiFi reception. The PC has a large poster saying "SITE UNDER CONSTRUCTION",my tech support has to sleep too you know. I was not to touch anything. The HP is broken because I had smashed it some time ago. Nevertheless, I had a good 30 minute chat with Kakteh, Ely and Anedra with only 50% battery before the Thinkpad blacked out. *winks*

To soothe the chronic withdrawal symptoms, I had a marathon tango with the mop today. Been a while since I attacked the floor with such virtuoso (angkat bakul sikit). I cleared under the bed and found hair. Lots and lots of hair. If the CSI team were here, imagine the mountains of dead skin cells and dustmites that they might have to bag. Prior to this, thanks to blogging, I have sped up cleaning time by deliberately skipping the dark recesses, dusty nooks and crannies and just mop the common traffic areas. Heh heh. Might as well clean up lah! After all, Raya is just around the corner.

Figured that I should go without wireless(double negation?) for a while until CA manages to rectify the series of hardware problems we are facing. So here I am, hooked directly to the cable connection 1 foot away from the wall griping my misfortune.

Time off from blogging gave me some time to meet real people for a change. Incidently, my former colleague and an old friend was in town. So we arranged to meet at Salero Bundo for Iftar. I was really looking forward to dinner under the stars Melayu-style until we got there only to find the place jam-packed with huge parties of hungry and loud people whose idea of buffet is to stock up on plates and plates of food makan hidang style, rather than piling up everything one one single dish.

It's been nearly 5 years since I last saw Pojee. He's my former colleague, whose office used to be a few doors away from mine. Back then I really liked what I was doing, my office was as good a working place as it was a great living quarters for me. I had everything except the kitchen sink. People in the Faculty of Creative Multimedia Building seldom go home anyway. Come to think of it, we did not get much sleep either.

While my office was like a mini museum of Budaya Benda, Pojee's office was like a psychadelic space centre. I especially remember his lava lamp, his super computers that looked like mini fridges. I remember distinctively something called Octane that could do cools real time animation. And he could really kemas. If you think Adrian Monk is kemas, wait till you check out Pojee's office. There were great many others that worked around graveyard hours like us. Nazura "Fishie" Rahime , his best friend back then, is now Pojee's wife. She just gave birth to a cute little cherub, Ilham Fannani 3 weeks ago. Congratulations!!!

My constant companion those days were Nad, oh she blogs too, and Nana. They were like sisters to me. Everytime I think about Nana, I am reminded of Dome's brownies, yang ada gold leaf tu...Yumm! I will blog about them in another entry.

So Pojee is in town to take that professional certification from from the good people at Apple. He was sweet enough to let me know he was here, it was only natural that we hooked up for makan. He was with a friend, Fikri. Both of them passed with flying colors!!! Woo hoo!

CA and I got to Salero Bundo earlier. They could not make it just in time for Iftar so we picked them up at Zam Zam Murtabak and adjourned to Sofra, a Turkish restaurant down the road.

It was great catching up with old friends. Although I must admit there were some awkward moments here and there because I was feeling a little self-conscious. You know, the bujang Nazrah and the Mak Dara are quite different from each other. It used to be very easy for me to strike up a conversation but last night my brain was mush. But I was thrilled nevertheless to see him again. Brings back memories of Bukit Bintang Nasi Ayam suppers with Nad and Wan.

Tauke Manggis

Aishah played photographer last night. She seemed pretty animated. If her parents weren't so uptight about her behaving at the dinner table, she might have enjoyed the evening even better. She kept insisting that she wanted Auntie Noreez and Kak Rocks. And Aunty Ayu, Aishah wants to play with you. She's been asking for you for days.

Anyways, the evening went by too quickly. Pojee and Fikri had the whole evening lined up for them. Almaklumlah Mafioso Dons datang Singapore.Maybe next time when they come with their families and we could spend time shopping rather than makan sakan saja.So rugi come all the way down here for one week, no time to shop.

Mafia Fikri Corleone

We dropped them off at Borders and it was adios, amigos! Until we meet again. And to Pojee's friend who reads this. HALLO, YOU!!!

P.S. : Pojee is a specialist in video productions and other high end media productions. He's done a few tv ads and music videos(Anuar Zain anyone?). He's done pretty cool upscale wedding videography too. Check them out at Manggis.

Malaysia Mourns

24 December 1940-20 October 2005

Yang Amat Berbahagia Datin Paduka Seri Endon Mahmood, the wife of the Yang Amat Berhormat Dato' Seri Abdullah Hj. Ahmad Badawi, the fifth Prime Minister of Malaysia has left us at about 7.55 am this morning, after a long and hard battle against the big C. She was 64.

One of the identical twins born to Yang Berbahagia Dato' Mahmood Ambak and Yang Berbahagia Datin Mariam Abdullah, she is survived by two children, Kamaludin and Nori, and 4 grandchildren. She remains in our memories as a great woman who was HUGELY generous and loving. A motherly character who was in touch with her culture and traditional values, she will be greatly missed. May she now rest in peace. Al Fatihah.

Hole in My Pocket

Ramadhan can be a breeze for some while it can be trying for a huge lot of us mere mortals. With the right upbringing and conscience, one would have no complaints about going without food and drink while keeping oneself morally and religiously in check. This communal obligation normally provides a greater motivation for some of us to increase one's level of adherence to religious responsibilities, InsyaAllah, while for some, it is just another regular month getting closer to Allah as we readily should every conscious minute of our lives.

Ramadhan may also be the time when the men, women and children get excited over the forthcoming Eid. Customarily, the ladies would get into a mad, mad shopping binge for all things serba baru, while the children pray hard that they may not be forced to wear scratchy traditional clothes and opt for stretch Levi's over muslin top from The Island Shop, to match the new Rastafarian beeswaxed dreads and the newly pierced tongue post-Phuket trip.*winks at somebody*

It is also a time when the Fathers, Brothers, Fiances, Husbands, Boyfriends, Sugar Daddies et al develop permanent frowns thinking about the impending fate of the soon to be maxed out credit cards, a fast-dwindling savings and mana lagi lobang aku nak korek duit seh... There is the big issue of ang pows or duit raya, packets of money given as celebratory token if not as charitable/filial gifts.

CA and I keep several spreadsheets of how much we would likely spend in RM and SGD for Hari Raya and try not to exceed our budget. This year, for the first time, I am taking care of the Malaysian side of things. Only now I realize how much money has to be set aside for duit raya, for salam berlapik and for general stocking up of kampung goodies like serunding, dodol, lemang, belacan and cencalok. Can't complain because I volunteered, and I have to be ikhlas. Susah juga mencari ikhlas.

I have also realized when one tries to be prudent,(read:frugal), things fall apart. My mini studio has been offline for nearly two weeks because of an inevitable power surge caused by the langsuirs and the penanggals of adapters and cables that were not equipped with a power regulator. I have set aside some money for a new set up. CA got started with a buffed up CPU( u da man, B) but not 24 hours after reviving my studio, the PC gave me a blue screen curse due to some device failure. The VGA card conked out on me. I told you I am no electrician or some tech support personnel. I was chatting with Anedra last night when the power cable of my trusty Thinkpad PUTUS?!!!! I can only conclude one thing, I am jinxed when it comes to anything electronic. Good thing, the cute little EZBuddy still works and I have hijacked the Asus for my blogging pleasure.

Sheesh. Kopak la lagi pas ni..Must forget about floorboards and soundproofing the room. Nak beli pintu pun dua puluh juta kali pikir...Scrap the idea of calling the spring cleaning team to wash my windows and sental my lantai. Overlook the fact that we need fresh paints on the walls. Third year with the same curtains is okay too.

Now I know how CA feels about Hari Raya. Why can't raya be simple and pain-free? Something tells me that this is what I get for not giving enough sedeqah. Duit habis macam air.

Wal-Asr.Innal insaana la fil khusrin.

Bendulful Meme Again

7 things to do before I die:

*Settle all debts and grievances
*Visit Capri again, wakeful and sober.
*Meet Makcik Rose
*Build a mosque in Mak’s name
*Secure trust fund for Aishah
*Bring family to my birthplace Scotland
*Perform Hajj and stay there

7 things I cannot do:

*Bake. I can cook to survive, but not bake. Call 911 if you see me making an attempt.
*Sew with the machine. Sembat, jelujur, tulang belud, InsyaAllah masih boleh.
*Be in two places at the same time and remain filial.
*Keep a straight face when someone is down right rude
*Electrical wiring.Plumbing masih ok. Wayar-wayar, sorry!
*Wear the same pair of specs for more than 6 months
*Forget sordid past

7 things that attract me to CA who happens to be the opposite sex relative to my current state of being:

*Guitar skills
*His height
*Serious humour
*Genuine smile
*The fact that he won’t let me get away with unreasonable behavior
*He takes my bad dreams seriously enough to comfort me
*He feeds me well

7 things I say most often:

*Oh mak engkau!
*Siot ahh!
*Uhuh
*Omaaaaaaaak!
*Ya Rabbi, Ya Tuhan , Ya Kareem ( sebelum mula berleter...)
*Alaaaaaaa...
*Hmm..entahlah. Tapikan...

7 celebrity crushes:

*Will Smith
*Chris Rock
*Arsenio Hall (Eh sampai tiga pak itam ni)
*Ted Danson as Dr Becker
*Slash
*Nuno

7 people I want to do this:

*Nefertiti
*Nadya
*Ely
*Mak Nenek
*Uja (kau dah buat belum?)
*Noreez
*Red

I am reduced to this

Warning : The UN Convention Against Torture signatories could not protect me from the peine forte et dure that Uja is capable of if I didn't write about this. So consider yourselves forewarned that this update contains explicit details about food items. Sorry I had to break my promise.

Baya, my younger sister and I used to share a room back in Subang Jaya. Hence the constant bickering and a tarik rambut relationship between us when we were younger. I used to terrorize her so much so that she has grown up a little traumatized, if I dare say so myself. But we are both much older now, she turned out to be such a sweet lady that if you have any goodness in you even if you are in your baddest, meanest moods, you can't help but be nice to her. She had better not know I said this.

Anyway, one night some 15 years ago, I was woken up by her screams, saying that a cockroach had entered one of her ears. Panicking, I quickly ran to our parents' room and knocked frantically to alert them. I remember Mak asking me if I'd like to come along to the doctor's. I would normally jump at any opportunity to get out of the house in the middle of the night. While the rest of my younger siblings were in deep slumber, under Makcik Rose's guard, the four of us drove into the night, looking for a 24 hr clinic. We found one, so Mak and Baya went inside. Ayah and I were left alone with nothing much to say to each other, so he brought me to a roadside stall where he ordered what soon became my most favourite pre-dawn meal and one of the nicest memories I have of my Ayah. A hot bowl of spicy sup kambing, or mutton soup.

I remember the yellowish broth, fragrant with the smell of some exotic spices, and that almost creamy texture of the soup sliding down my throat like a warm blanket enveloping my easophagus and settling the Symphony No 5 in my stomach like gripe water to a colicky baby , sipped in between dunks of toasted bread, under the stars while the rest of the neighbourhood slept. Soon the little squirt joined us with Mak, explaining that it was not a cockroach that had got stuck in her ear but a large boil. The throbbing made it feel like something was gnawing the insides of her ear. She was somewhat pacified, the good doc must have given her a shot. Mak ordered something other than mutton soup, she's health conscious even then. After cleaning bowlfuls of soup, as I was the designated tong sampah who finished up what others could not, we went home, back to bed happily counting kambing to sleep.

I rekindled with childhood memories of mutton soup, at Upper Boon Keng some 30 minutes from where I live. M.Razack's plays host to large cauldrons of boiling meat, innards and genitalia, also where old goats and mangkuks savour mangkuk after mangkuk of goats' coo coo birds thinking their own coo coo birds would soar to heavens above or at least rise to the occassion for the minimum required time after chewing muddled fat and protein in the soup. It must have done them a lot of good as not very many ladies stand in queue to buy this soup in fear of the gawking, hawking eyes of revitalised coo coo birds at the tables in front of this famous offal galore stall.

So in between running errands all over the city from one end to the other yesterday, I squeezed in a pitstop at Upper Boon Keng to drop off some Kopi Kacip Fatimah for Noreez and to grab a couple of packets of soup for Iftar at the inlaws'. In the span of a few weeks, this is the second time I found my way there. First to meet my long lost friend from MRSM, Mrs Omaq a few days before Ramadhan.And last night sinking my teeth into succulent meat and spicy broth was a welcomed treat for supper after a dinner of dhal lemak and sambal sotong.

So sentimental I got that I gave my Ayah a call. He sounded chirpier than his usual patriarchal, "Apa hal?". He is Bugis after all. That, my friend, was the bawang goreng and daun sup on my bowlful of heaven.

Okay, Uja. You can loosen the strappado. Medieval Inquisition style does not become you. All you needed to do was ask.

Heh. Heh.

My apologies my friends. Mohon ampun Mak Nenek Rupawan...

Of course you know I am kidding about Uja.

What? What? Whaaaaaaat?

I just had to get out of the house yesterday. You know how some people are lucky to clock out at 5 pm and forget about the office. My job, on one hand, requires me to be online almost the whole time of my waking hours, and a major part of my sleeptime. On the other, I have a house to maintain in considerable, livable order while it is being continually messed up while I am actually cleaning up. In other words, my job does not leave me nor can I leave it. All that just so that I have a little dough to put aside for rainy days and shopping days. Ok, ok, it's more for shopping than the rain okay?

So I badly needed a break after a few back to back, back-breaking assignments, while trying to keep my faculties in check what with Aishah interchangably slipping into some kind of toddler nightmarish frenzy one moment and an absolute angel the next.

I decided against a soupy noodle dish called Mee Thye Mak which I thought might soothe my mental fatigue for Iftar and opted for Swensen's to lick the Yummy Raisin (with fake rum) off its cup clean.

Twas still early so the restaurant was not jam-packed yet. It's funny how a lot of mid-scale restaurants for our blue-collared budget here arrange their tables so close to each other that a mere pop of a tiny fart can be audible two tables away from you.

I chose a corner with a high partition that cordones off most part of the restaurant, you know, for little privacy. Apart from a lil din in the atmosphere it was rather cosy until a party of mother and daughter found the table immediately next to us.

I was intent on having a relaxing dinner but my plan fell flat on the floor as Aishah decided to play, let's-toss-the-salad-in-the-air game and whining obnoxiously, endlessly. She gets like that when she is self-conscious. That lady sitting next to our table kept staring at me and Aishah back and forth exchanging comments with her daughter. CA and I were already feeling hot in the head, supressing the urge to snap and throw a sarcastic remark. I even role-played in my head how I was going to poke that lady's nose with my own and then throw her against the glass wall- a scene from a retro Jackie Chan movie. I got so edgy, that the monster in me prompted me to straighten my back, drop my cutlery and stared back at the lady. I think it worked as she lifted the menu book and hid behind it. The whole time after that she cowered down behind the menu while the daughter spied on us on her behalf. Eh, tak reti-reti lagi tu...I stared back at the daughter and later she too hid behind the menu book. In the end, I managed to finish my Salmon Teriyaki without any more drama.

Sheesh, nasib baik I tak tukar jadi Incredible Hulk or Suria Perkasa Hitam. Eh, jadi Space Cop Gaban pun cool eh? Just don't mess with this frazzled, hungry, dog-tired, chocolate-deprived Mom of a toddler. Thank you very much.

Strange Meme

I don't really see the point of the meme, but then I've been tagged.

I am IT.

So just like any of my bendulful impulsive acts, here it is.

For you, Nadya.

The Rules:

1. Go into your archive.

2. Find your 23rd post.

3. Find the fifth sentence (or closest to).

4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions.

5. Tag five other people to do the same.

My 23rd post was actually my long pot-pet entry about being nice to each other. Reading it again made me shudder, as I am reminded of the ensuing repercussions of my statements. The drama and the sticky mess that occured thereafter.

Here's my fifth line...

"I have been observing passively like a spineless coward, the ruckus over nitty gritty things almost with voyueristic fascination and had kept my protests very quiet in order to avoid conflicts with other people"

YIPES.

I am tagging :

kakteh

who has just been freed from the shackles of the big D

kak tenah

who needs a little break from her Permanent Head Damage paper

iJun

just because

anuarfariz

who's been waaaaaaay too quiet

foxymophandlemama

because I miss you

Mission Accomplished

I have always wanted to put my name on a book cover. You know, something to show-and-tell my anak cucu, so that one day they can say, hey, that's my Makwo's book. Heh.

Although I must warn you that I am just making baby steps into publishing, so there are definitely teething problems. Like they say, those who can't write, edit. But I am sure a lot of editors out there can and do write. I am just testing the waters. Don't get mad if it is not up to scratch.

I am just happy that a book that consists of real life accounts of nursing mothers is going to be launched this Saturday. This is a book that tells you things like it is, or at least, that's the intention. Nursing a baby isn't always a clip from a Baby Johnson's advertisement. The snags of motherhood can be really a drag and horrific. There are also tips and alternative treatments to common nursing problems.

Most importantly, this book goes to show how people who have not met each other in real life, only via an online forum, a mailing list and email can really do something big together. What makes it even more heartwarming is that this is a book for mothers by mothers. Syabas, to the contributors from Ummiku Sayang and especially Nae, for being there for me during the darkest moments.

And to Kak Teh, for keeping me company during those graveyard hours. I am especially grateful to Allah for salving my guilt of taking time off from Aishah with the birth of this book. I just hope that my intention to share inspiring nursing stories with others in hope that more people would nurse their own babies into toddlerhood justifies all that time I spent working on this at Aishah's expense. Luckily for me, I have an understanding husband who practically lets me do whatever pleases my crazy little head(as long as I let him keep his marine tank and play music. Heheh) and inlaws' who practically let me get my way and spoils me rotten. Alhamdulillah.

Oh, I have so many people to thank but I do not want to risk sounding like an acceptance speech for an imaginary Oscar. So I'll just say this, all of you who have helped me make this happen, THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart.

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Sigh....

Am just back from visiting my Mom. She has been feeling a little under the weather. I have not recovered from that pang of guilt I felt when I hugged her before I left Bangi. Something on her face tells me that she did not want me to go back to Singapore yet, sort of longing for me to make what she is feeling at the time go away by some kind of magic.

I am not in the best shape to update properly just yet. You guys take care okay?