Ode to GKT

Di mana hilangnya
cinta membara kala lara
Diluka begini
berlagu sunyi ku sendiri
Seketika cuma mekar bersama
bergelora di jiwa
Haruskah ternoda luhurnya
kasih pertama terlerai jua
luruh seribu dalam ku terlena
Haruskah terpisah akhirnya
Di dalam sepi ku
gamit malam ku teman sendu
Diguris hati ku
terpendam sayu dalam rindu
Ku lukis senyuman di pinggir cinta
Dalam hiba di jiwa
Haruskah ternoda luhurnya
kasih pwertama terlerai jua
luruh seribu dalam ku terlena
Haruskah terpisah akhirnya

On Marriage

Then Almitra spoke again and said, "And what of Marriage, master?"
And he answered saying:
You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when white wings of death scatter your days.
Aye, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together, yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.

-Khalil Gibran

Trust

Henry Stimson once said, "The chief lesson I have learned in a long life is that the only way to make a man trustworthy is to trust him; and the surest way to make him untrustworthy is to distrust him and show your distrust."

To a man with a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

Trust, my friends, is a decision,

A conscious one.

Oh well.

Find the seed at the bottom of your heart and bring forth a flower

-Shigenori Kameoka

The Rocker Road

I started the day pretty excited about the gig, getting the mood right by listening to some of CA's collection of rock songs, and found that I could still actually appreciate Dreamtheater and Malmsteen. I won't budge in my belief that Iron Maiden, Sepultura dan rakan-rakan are major causes of migraines. Sorry.

I would say my first taste of rock came from my mother who came back from Amsterdam with recordings of MTV and Sky Trax music videos.This, mind you was waaaaaay before Astro and cable tv. Mak even had Prince's 1999 concert tape. From those tapes I was blown away by the images of good looking men with guitar skills. You remember Duran Duran? And I was like, 11 years old then. For years the way to my heart was good guitar skills. My first beau was a big GnR fan, he even picked up a few sloppy chords on the kapok, but I still think he's better off with his computer stuff lah. Before I forget, Guns n Roses are coming to town next month.

Slowly I picked up an interest in Bon Jovi, Poison, Whitesnake, Def Leppard dan rakan-rakan. Oh, we peeple who listen to those peeple, don't mingle with the U2 and the Nirvana peeple, Don't ask me why, because I don't know.And then I discovered the super coolness of Queen from this crazy mamat who taught me how to play and sing like the 4NonBlondes. It was love when I first heard Queen's "Love of My life" and how fun it is to dance in all silliness to "I Want to Ride my Bicycle". From him I was introduced to the S3xpistols, Nine Inch Nails and all the similarly, strangely named ones. I also learned that Alice Cooper, Black Sabbath and Kiss don't really play heavy stuff despite their dark and bloody persona. When hanging out with my blood sisters of PPP days (you know who you are), we banged to Metalicca, and we weren't very friendly towards the Megadeth fanatics. One of the girls was going out with the guy who was involved in bringing in foreign bands to play in Malaysia, so that was when the love for classic rock blossomed, with us drooling over music by Deep Purple, Led Zeppelin and other Papa Rocks lah. I began to appreciate the works of pre-janggut Eric Clapton, Bob Dylan, Jimi Hendrix and my ultimate favourite is "The Band" from Martin Scorcese's rockumentary, "The Last Waltz".

The alternative rock scene was mushrooming then, and many a young rocker wannabe thought rock was what Kirk Cobain lived and died for. After learning how to play a few Nirvana and Offspring materials, I decided, hey, it's the same thing played over and over again till the end of each songs. Where is the artistry in that? That's just the opinion of an angsty teenage musician in me lah that time...But that did not stop me from following the local scene back when I had backstage privileges to gigs at Atria and HRC.

And then I was introduced to the works of Steve Vai and Satriani by a dear dear friend who is also a mad,mad, death metal worshipper. With the right kind of ambience and hallucinogenic agents, one can actually learn to appreciate some of it. I tried(the music, not the hallucinogen) but err, nope, not for me, I did not want to sell my soul to mystical beings, no thank you. Vai and Satriani however, remained the titans of great guitar playing in my books for a while, until I heard Malmstein the first time with his rendition of "Dreaming". Can you tell that my taste in rock is very feminine?l

And then I watched CA perform for the very first time, some 5 years ago, it dawned to me that hey, I've got my very own rockstar, to cherish and to hold......yada yada yada. He plays thrash metal, which incidently has enough coloratura to stand side by side classical pieces, and rekindles my passion towards Metallica. Interesting to mention that the string quartet( 4 cello players actually) called Apocalyptica plays with the same virtuoso as any rock band, long hair, headbanging and all. I also like...

I have always daydreamed of a whirlwind romance with a long haired rocker with emotive guitar skills, and I got him. You know how it feels when you know he's the one you've always wanted. The puzzle fits all at the right places. Except when it comes to the music that I actually write and sing lah. You see, while circumstances puts me in situations where the interest in rock music is inevitable, my taste in music in general is pretty much very feminine and kental. Give me Lilith Fair any day. While I can only berangan to write like Stevie Wonder, I do have a dream to be able to sing like Patti La Belle, if not like the grand doyenne of soul Miss Ella Fitzgerald. Sometimes I while away my blues and pretend that I am Sheryl Crow, and improv Alanis Morissette's pieces, as if I am playing at Madison Square. That is about the extent of my dreams of being a star lah. On the other hand, CA plays the guitar with so much passion and skill that one can tell how happy a wife I have been. Heheh. You know what they say about guitar players eh?

As you can see, I have developed Atenah-ism, (ampun Kak Tenah, gurau)where my preamble is longish and I have yet to present my thesis statement. I was going to blog about CA'a gig on Saturday, and see how far I have digressed with my grandmama story.

So Saturday was the day when Fort Canning Park played host to the congregation of has-beens, would-have-beens and still-going-strong rock bands from Malaysia and Singapore. I went dressed in mostly black, save for my dark blue Per Una(70% Marks n Sparks, promo sikit ada sale cik sal...) jeans. Since I came with CA, I did not have to go through the main entrance, so that saved me from having to brush shoulders with metal studs and mohawks. It was a very sunny afternoon, CA's bandmates have saved us a shady spot under a flowering tree and it was just like having a reunion picnic. It is always wonderful to hang out with Zeotz (CA's band), because they can really crack jokes over the simplest things. Somebody described them as follows,

"Here is a band that defies the myth that "bands don't last". Members of ZeotZ have been playing together since 1991. Sources of influences include Slayer, Sepultura, Helloween, Sodom, Coroner, Iron maiden, Megadeth, Metallica, Onslaught and Rusty Blade. The main element in the sound of ZeotZ is still the fast-paced energy, excitment and raw POWER that it portrays. Something you should know about these guys... THEY NEVER GIVE UP! Yup, they're going to be around for as long as the Stones."

CA, being a man of very few words, was obviously very relaxed with these boys. They are so tight I can actually imagine them still rocking on well into their golden years like Uja's rocker uncles. Four of them Zeotz are bapak orang, and only one left bujang trang tang tang. Dan Mencari Cinta. *hint hint*.

When Zeotz came on, CA introed with a very heart wrenching ghazal sounding prelude, and I was immediately taken to another realm. There he was a collosal display of extra-terrestrial mastery of the instrument. Oh, bear with me, I am falling in love for the umpteenth time. I did not care who was behind me,I was too busy snapping almost every movement that CA was making, and a few token shots of his bandmates.Heheh. He could not stand still lah, this guitar player, it's evident where Aishah got her tak boleh duduk diam genes. Even without his rocker long hair, he could still headbang and skip all over the stage and look every bit like a rocker lah.

When Zeotz played "The Forsaken Life", every wail of the guitar licks gave me goosebumps, and I began to see how socially conscious CA's lyrics are, despite all those grunts and guttural explosions of screams. It was easy to appreciate the music when you are in love with the musicmakerman eh?

All in all, I had a lot of fun hanging out with the guys, I totally ignored the "butt cleavage" parade that was the theme of the day that day. Oh, the things girls put on these days...*Eleh awak muda2 dulu pakai apa eh?*

After hours of berkubang like dugongs on the green, green grass of Fort Canning Park, it dawned to me that I may have been sitting on somebody's grave as the whole place was a memorial park of dead people when someone who was promoting an upcoming Slipknot concert, said that they were going to wake the dead. Erk...

I only stayed behind to watch one Malaysian band play before I left. I was not going to stay till the end of the show lah. I made CA promise to record Wings in my absence. Frankly,I was feeling guilty about leaving Aishah at the inlaws' for hours, I sped home to catch her before she went to bed without our standard Mommy-daughter goodnight bonding. I spent a good half hour before putting her to bed. Ahh, bliss.

CA came back at little after 2 am, excited to tell me how much fun he had hanging out with the boys from Wings, Amuk and Metalasia. Am glad he clicks with Malaysian rockers. I had trouble sleeping because my ears were replaying the sounds that probably had woken up the dead.The dead followed me home and they were playing in my ears. My chest felt a little tight and my head was killing me. It must be all that cigarette smoke lah. I knew if I were to spend another hour there, I would die of secondary smoke inhalation. Zeotz has another gig end of this month. Maybe I'll carry an oxygen mask if I go watch them again. But then again, I would not want to leave Aishah behind for hours like that again lah. Sebak...

Sapa sanggup tinggalkan budak ni lagi?In Steve Tyler's famous words, "I don't wanna miss a thing..."

Lumpy Lipids in Limbo

The GI Jane bootcamp went a wee bit silent after almost all of its members succumbed to the voracious appetite for smackalicious food naturally ingrained in their gourmet worshipping willpower. About the only people observed as taking this exercise thing seriously are our urat dawai Kak Tenah*, and Ely* who are actively doing serious circuit training and power walks respectively, while the persons whose heads are often found bobbing in and out of the fridge for snacks and quick desserts in between, and their continous talk about food with romantic passion helped little in their pursuit to manage that extra jiggle in their gait. You know who you are.

Homefront, I have lost the 5 lbs I gained this past weeks by chatting my way through meal times(a lot of ppl helped me do this, thank you), munching on fruits while watching food tv(a little bit of imagination helped) and taking omega-3 and honey propolis drops. Taking Senna seeds every other day also helps clean out my system too. That lemon and honey juice must have helped suppress my cravings. I still daydream about losing 15 more before I go shopping for sheers again.Sigh.

I tried walking, and timed myself. Whew! I remember running 100m in 16 secs back when I was so much younger and so much more in love with exercise, now I can hardly make it across the zebra crossing in 10. I guess I do have something to worry about especially when climbing the neighbourhood overhead bridge halfway left me panting and clutching my chest, it was definitely a sign of protest from my muscles(what muscles?) after being rudely woken up from sedentary slumber.

I guess after I completely heal from that Humpty Dumpty had a great fall episode, I'd bring myself to the club and run the treadmill with the Ah Sohs and Tai-tais....say, Monday?

So how low can you go lah?

*find them at Sentraal Station

Ku Izinkan Kasih

The song you are listening to is copyright controlled by EMI Publishing (M) Sdn Bhd. It is written by Azlan Abu Hassan, released and recorded by Camelia. This version is a vocal guide that I recorded, part of my job as a vocal stylist/backup singer. Sometimes before recording a new song, an artiste has to learn and "feel" the song. It is from these tapes/cds that they have an idea how the song goes and figure out how they can put in their own personal style in their own recording. I know some just hentam keromo and copy the guides, but the good ones like Anuar Zain, Hazami just to name a few, create magic instead.

Cempedak Had A Great Fall

Twas a serene morning for a fresh start when I woke up . A cup of instant cereal later, I was still hungry so I cut the biggest pear I had in the fridge(70 cts sebijik, pencekik punya fruitseller). I thought that if I were to slowly grind this fruit between my chompers while watching food tv, I might forget about waffles and compote. Aishah did not want anything heavy for breakfast, so she agreed to have some cheese, crackers and some of my pear.

The journey(macam la jauh bebenor eh) to the TV room was easy. With Classic 95.0 piping a little cosy ambience, CA straightened up before bed last night so the hall looked magnificent with the school of 9 flourescent blue chromi dancing to the music.We completely ignored the mini Bukit Timah of laundry and made a pit stop infront of the newly resuscitated fish tank. The oldest occupant is, Mommy Nemo, the female maroon clownfish that looked a bit nervous being outnumbered by those tiny yet hyperactive blue squadron of chromis, so we gave her a little pep talk while she was fondled by the tiny tentackles of her round-the-clock masseuse, the neon anemone.

Oh did you know that clownfish are born sexless? How they perform later in life would determine whether they are either female or male.None of that d*ke or metrosexual confusion that we as humans sometimes have. Just before they reach akil baligh, or rather puberty, in other words be old enough to have some bedroom action, they will engage in battle with each other, and the winner shall henceforth be a female. From then on, the losers(sic) are to be toyboys or sex slaves to the respective female and father more and more fries. Now, I wonder who are the lucky ones here. So how can you tell the difference? The boss-lady would develop a darker color and would gradually lose some of her stripes. It is important to note that once the sex has been determined, it is irreversible. So if you are a clownfish fry reading this, better practise your martial arts and win your womanhood. Heheh.

Poor Mommy Nemo is a loner these days. I guess all the boys we gave her weren't good enough. They did not survive Mommy Nemo's kung fu hustling. So far we have had 3 anemones, the latest being the one she seems to enjoy most.

Sorry, I digress.

So while engaging in an animated exchange of deliberate baby gibberish and tummy jabs with Aishah, we finally got to the tv room. I didn't realize there was a puddle of aircond water( alaa..kena service la pulak) on the floor, slipped and lost my footing. I could not centralize myself in time to levitate(perasan lagi), and stumbled on the upright fan and fell on our minibar/box fridge and finally the whole of my 2*.7 BMI crashed on my left knee before I rolled on the floor, grimacing in pain. My TV breakfast went flying all over the place. A sudden surge of what felt like a mini electrocution shot up my spine and stopped somewhere in my ribcage. Placed myself in a recovery position and asked Aishah to get me my wireless from the cradle. It was difficult to decide whether to laugh of to cry, with Aishah giving me a looooooooooooooog and all of a sudden articulate lecture on being careful with all that "why" questions. I could not even speak to CA over the phone because of this little pot pet machine. After the usual first aid thing, minyak angin and stuff, I was mobile again, suffering only a limp and a dull pain in my lumbar area whenever I attempt to move.

As usual, I called the inlaws' for some manja, Bapak insisted that I should teach Aishah to speed-dial their number in case I get klutzy again. I was quickly summoned to Tampines. I took the bus, Zana. Terror tak? Had a quick Old Chang Kee and Jollibean picnic at the interchange. Called CA and asked if he'd like some of those ugly looking epok-epok? I didn't even have to ta pao because he told us he'd join us in our budaya lepak activity. Alang-alang menyeluk pekasam, biar sampai ke pangkal BANQUET- the halal food court. Aishah and I had a fruit platter while CA when slurp-a-slurping the hot-hot Yong Tao Foo.

After packing a bag of Butterfly Kueh, we headed towards the inlaws' for my couple of days of manja-ing marathon.

Pengumuman

Pasting this on behalf of a fellow puisi-relayist , Dzan who has initiated a Bahasa Melayu Bahasa Serantau projek. Please read the following:

WelCome to Project Cermin : Sejuta Puisi (suara pandu dan hidup serantau)
by cermin on August 2, 2005 11:10AM (MYT)
Project : Cermin – Sejuta Puisi (suara pandu dan hidup Serantau)
Salam Sejahtera,
Ini adalah surat terbuka untuk semua para pengkarya – yang mapan, mahu pun yang baru berjinak-jinak dengan dunia penulisan. Sama ada karya anda pernah atau belum pernah disiarkan dimana media cetak, anda dijemput bergabung dalam usaha ini. Yang penting anda punya kemahuan untuk menyumbang dalam usaha ini, langsung berpeluang mecetak karya anda.
Sebagaimana yang telah dimaklumkan dikesempatan yang lalu, saya bercita-cita untuk menghasil sebuah Antologi atau Himpunan Puisi bersama seorang sahabat yang merupakan Penulis dan juga Penerbit diMalaysia. Ini adalah usaha pemangkin (spring board) dalam menyemarakkan penghasilan puisi bermutu dirantau ini.
Anggaplah usaha ini sebagai USAHA BERSAMA. Jadi jangan malu-malu untuk bergabung atau bertegur tentang cacat celanya. Kita harus menghasilkan bahan yang terbaik.
Projek Cermin
Projek ini yang saya namakan Cermin - adalah sebagai judul asas siri buku-buku yang bakal diterbitkan. Walaupun ini usaha pertama, hendaknya bukan yang terakhir.
Justeru itu, usaha pertama ini saya (sepakat dengan Sdr Hasan dari Sejuta puisi) judulkan

Cermin – Sejuta Puisi (suara pandu dan hidup Serantau)
Ia akan diselengarakan bersama oleh:
a. Ramdzan Minhat (johor malaysia) selaku Penyelaras ramdzan_minhat@yahoo.com

b. Hasan Ashapani (batam Indonesia) selaku Penyunting hasanaspahani@yahoo.com
Ia bakal menjadi titik tolak untuk projek seterusnya. Di kesempatan yang pertaman ini, kita akan membukukan Kumpulan / Antologi Puisi serantau (Singapura, Indonesia dan Malaysia). Dan buku ini juga bakal memuatkan Panduan (Ringkas atau sebaliknya) dalam mengarang dan menghasilkan Puisi.

Keinginan ini terdorong sejak lama sebelum saya bergabung dengan egroup SEJUTA PUISI yg dikelolakan oleh Sdr. Hasan. Dan bila sudah bergabung, saya dapati reaksi sumbangan dari pembaca dan pengkarya di SEJUTA PUISI begitu memberangsangkan.

Adalah sia-sia jika hasil karya itu tidak dibukukan. Tambahan lagi ada banyak keinginan dari pembaca yang mahu berilmu menghasilkan puisi. Saya yakin, masih banyak karya-karya yang baik hanya tersimpan dan diselitkan dibawah bantal atau dicorong-corong BLOG. Kalaulah esok INTERNET terus mati, berkuburlah segala karya indah yg telah disumbangkan.
Matlamat Cermin

Menggalakkan penulis terus berkarya Kreatif dan Intelektual di media cetak
Memperkayakan dan memertabatkan Lingua Bahasa Serantau
Menyumbang and memangkinkan masyarakat untuk terus peka dengan kesusasteraan serantau dan tatacara yang sama tapi berbeza
Membentuk dan meyampaikan maksud sejagat yang jitu pada umum.
Menghasilkan bukan sekadar buku KREATIF, tapi juga buku ILMU untuk penyumbang dan pembaca.

Peraturan Untuk Projek Cermin :

Berbahasa Melayu / Indonesia
Terbuka kepada sesiapa saja - yg mapan mahu pun yg baru berjinak-jinak
Jangan mencarut (vulgar) atau menyalahi undang-undang.
Untuk projek ini, hanya untuk genre Puisi, Pantun, Prosa, Perumpamaan dan Bidalan yang Asli dan milik sendiri.
Karya disumbang mesti belum pernah di terbitkan di mana-mana media cetak di Malaysia, Singapura, Brunei, Indonesia atau dimana pun.
Kalau pernah diterbit di Internet, itu tidak mengapa.

Untuk maklumat lanjut sila klik disini.

Teman Terulung

Lagu yang berkumandang di laman sawang blog saya hari ini ditujukan khas buat sahabat-sahabat saya di sini, baik yang baru dikenali, yang dah pun bersaudara dengan saya dan juga yang baru dijejaki kasihnya.

Paling istimewa buat aunty-aunty, pokcik-mokcik semua, kakak-kakak tersayang, abang-abang terhormat, adik-adik yang dikasihi, anak-anak angkat, diangkat dan terangkat,sedara-mara, suku-sakat, handai -taulan segala segalan yang masing-masing melimpah ruah sifat pemurah kasih dan kejujuran malah berharga ihsannya kepada saya sekeluarga, berkongsi kegirangan dan kesedihan selama kita berkenalan dan bersaudara.

Padi bukit diharap huma tidak semerah

sekam rompong hangit terbakar lalu terbelah

Budi tuan tak terbalas dik tangan yang lemah

semoga dirahmati sekeliannya dan diberkati Allah

Pinjam ayat kakteh : "I rab u"

Gear Up Your Rock Kapak Get Up

The biggest and heaviest names in Rock and Metal are congregating here this weekend. Book your tickets now!

Blogger Bottoms Up

Evidently, my Bahasa Melayu is kopak and pecah when I just let go huh? So back to my equally wordy equally ungrammatical English for the benefit of fellow Bahasa Melayu pecah speakers in my cohort.

So the meeting that wasn't last night is compensated by a wonderful, wonderful make up date at Raffles City this afternoon. There was no pre-date jitters on my part because I have spoken to CK several times over the phone prior to the meeting, it feels like I have known her for years.

Che Anwar could not join us as he had to finetune his band in preparation for the big rock gerek gig next week. So I made my way to Suntec City with Aishah on the MRT. Please remember that I am hopeless when it comes to public transport, but this is good training lah! The trip from Compasspoint to Dhoby Ghaut was uneventful, but the amount of time I had to carry Aishah was enough to tire me out 20 minutes into the journey. You cannot expect anyone to offer you a seat even if you make the most kesian look in this day an age. While trying to balance a 15 kg girl on one hand and holding on the pole in there for balance, I managed to terpeleot(sprain) the big toe which had been hit by a pin from the plug of the iron before I left the house earlier. Ouch.

Anyway, we alighted at Dhoby Ghaut and took the NS towards City Hall. The train was packed like sardines and Aishah got a little nervous. I was secretly nervous also, you know as a result of recent turns of events. Alhamdulillah, apart from being squashed front and back while carrying Aishah, I did not get my toes stepped on or get seriously hurt from standing in a crowded MRT.

I got there 4-ish, and went up straightaway to the 3rd floor looking for this gourmet chocolate cafe named Leonida(spelling?) and called CK to help me get there. My sense of direction is... *rolling eyes to the back of sockets*

Out of no where came an elegantly dressed petite lady, complete with a very chi-chi pashmina wrap, after a short introductory handshake and a lil muah muah, I was escorted into this equally chi-chi cafe and was greeted by two lovely ladies Sheryl and Noreez. Wah, I tell you , I felt underdressed, smelly, sweaty and clammy compared to these fragrant fashionistas. Fair enough, while waiting for me to get there, they had had a makeover at the MAC counter. All I had was a harrowing journey, huddled in a pressure cooker with similarly harrassed-looking commuters. I hope they did not mind my lack of pizzazz in the fashion department. But then again, I am an eclectic moody dresser, so you know...

First thing first, my nasi dagang was there. I have been craving for it for months, kempunan Pok Ku's Nasi Dagang party actually and CK was kind enough to offer to cook it for me someday. And it's my lucky day today. Now I remember how our paths first crossed. Thanks to Pok Ku, I found a generous and oh-so-chatty friend in CK. I had to focus really hard on our conversation as I was stealing glances and fantasizing about the promise of a gourmet surprise in that tightly sealed paper bag. There were also little goodies baked by little Yasmin, CK's gorgeous little princess who had a baking class earlier. Aishah had sarsaparilla, chocolates, mini pizzas and cheesesticks, I shuddered at the thought of the consequential sugar shock. As usual, there were clumsy spills and smears everywhere, I could almost feel every cringe of the unmarried ladies. Wait till you have one of your own. Conveniently, there were several stores that sell kids' stuff, so I got Aishah a cool black t-shirt in place of her blue stained one. Chit punya chat, chat punya chit, in between speed-smsing and toddler emergencies, we got along just fine. CK's husband the "hun", short for "honey" of course, was a natural conversationalist. It was very easy to get comfy with this lovely couple. The both of them exude all that Pantai Timur serenity about them. Those other two, hmm...are deliciously delectably ready for the picking.Yum! How do people say it these days? Mencari Cinta? So, urm, sapa-sapa nak berkenalan, sila beratur kat sini.

I feel a bit paiseh because I came almost emptyhanded,whereas CK gave me another surprise gift in a small box. It's a purple brooch embellished with crystals that looked like amethysts. When I look at it, it sorta reminds me of CK. Simple elegance, in a small packet. I am now resolved to make up for my lack of imagination. I will definitely wish to see all of them again, especially little Yasmin with whom I did not have the chance to really chat. It would be wonderful if Aishah could expand her social circle even if it means taking the MRT all the way to Jurong. Funny should CK point out that Aishah looks a bit like a boy. Yasmin on the other hand is a picture perfect living doll, demurely dressed in a floral frock complete with pony tails and stuff. My girl on the other hand, wore shorts and t-shirt and was the one who could not sit still. Just when it seemed like they were beginning to warm up to each other, we had to part ways as CK and friends had a previous engagement following our short and sweet meetup.

I, on the other hand had to deal with an emergency of some sort, I really felt clammy that I needed a bath ASAP. Aishah sent us running to the baby room for a diaper change, not before announcing to the world she's got gems in her pants. Oh, the drama.

I managed to find the MRT station and headed towards Bedok where Che Anwar was jamming. He picked me up at the interchange and in the car were the vocalist of the band with his 3 kids. What a pleasant surprise. Aishah really loves company. I have offered to babysit those kids the next time the dads jam, just so that Aishah could have some playmates and perhaps the boys can jam with uninhibited passion; i.e. without the kids around. In two weeks time Kak Ayu will come and visit( read:help me mop my house) and surely Aishah would enjoy the company of this brainy future estonot as I have thus far. I am just hoping all that pandai-ness would rub off.

P.S.Noreez and Raudz, the answer is YES

Pelesering By The Bay

MIL tersayang

Amaran: Pencemaran Bahasa Melayu tahap tak sedar diri berikutnya.

Sebentar tadi, Pak Incik dan Mak Incik telah berpoya-poya bersama dengan anak dan mak mertua tersayang di anak tangga tepi bangunan durian gergasi yang diberi nama Esplanade bagi menyaksikan pesta terkinja-kinja anak-anak muda zaman dah takde mana nak pegi dah sebab semua kedai dah tutup. Kegiatan berpeleseran ini adalah kesinambungan dari budaya lepak yang berleluasa di mana mana pusat-pusat membeli belah sementelah jualan mega murah masih berlangsung.Memandangkan malam masih muda, pipit-pipit dan murai-murai ini masih belum mahu pulang lagi ke rumah burung berjenama HDB lalu melepaklah di sini.

Memandangkan kebanyakan jalan-jalan ditutup sementara raptai hari kebangsaan sedang berlangsung di kebanyakan lokasi umum, perjalanan Pak Incik, Mak Incik sekeluarga ke arah muara di mana Si Durian terjelepuk itu ada sedikit kemacetan. Kami hanya sampai disitu tepat pukul 10 sipi-sipi sebelum bermulanya permainan band gerek bernama Dancing Nancies, nama sempena lagu Dave Matthews. Gerek sebab members yang main la beb! Jadi tak lah di kira kerugian sepenuhnya. Suasana di situ semacam kenduri kawin saja gamaknya, sebab, mak oii, ramainya Melayu. Yang nampak macam baru balik kebret pun ada, baru balik mengaji pun ada. Termasuklah Mak Incik dan Pak Incik kamu nih....Walaupun kesemputan sebab terpaksa parkir dekat Marina Promenade akibat jalan Tok Raffles kamu tu tutup, dan berjalan kaki di pesisiran sampai la nun kat Esepelenade hapekebenda tu(Baca ni buat le intonasi opoh hang siket iye?) Cik Esah kita tu, apa lagi, nampak je permukaan luas terbentang, mula la dia mengelinjang ke hulu ke hilior macam tak pernah lepas kandang. Pueh le teman ngejornya, yop.

Ate sampai je kat situ, band baru nak main kan, wah rasa macam star la pulak, kita sampai baru deme buka spotlight apa kebende. Wah, Mak Incik kamu bukannya biasa sangat tengok konsert monsert orang muda-muda ni sejak dah tua ni kan. Terhenjut-henjut la jugak dengan cara tak sengaja tu. Nasib baik ingat mak mertua ada kat sebelah, kalau idak, eeeeeeeeiii...Pandai jugak Si Royhan dan kawan2 tu main eh. Cuma satu je nak komen, bebudak kat sini tengok konsert duduk..ontok yo. Nak tepuk pun macam tak makan sebulan. Kalau nak bandingkan penonton live AF jauh satay dari arang. Budak-budak sini berdisiplin agaknya, nak berseronok pun tak berani kot eh? Takut kena , fine. Bukankah Singapore ini sebuah FINE CITY?

Abih Mak Incik kamu ni kan bawak anak kecik, terpaksa la berdiri jauh-jauh, mana la tahu kuat bebenor speaker tu karang, Cik Esah kamu ni kena tympanic perforation kang cemana la pulak eh?

Abih tu kita yang duduk kat tangga tu takkan la tak bergambar ye dak? Susah betul nak synchro senyuman Cik Esah kita tu. Mak Incik kamu pulak payah nak senyum betul-betul pasal, mak oih panasnya la duduk tepi laut malam-malam buta ni.Berpeluh-peluh dibuatnya. Pandang-pandang keliling ramai jugak mak incik-mak incik macam kita bawak anak. Cari-cari jugak geng bloggers, CK yang patutnya kalau sempat nak jumpa kat situ jugak, kebetulan menghala ke durian yang sama. Apakan daya, CK dan kuncu-kuncunya dikhayalkan dik anasir-anasir halucinogenic kat Orchard Road tu. Tu mesti belek handbag dan kasut tu eh CK? Abih dah le banyak jalan tutup, teksi pun mabuk nak cari jalan yang buka ye tak? Dah puas dengar dan tengok orang main gitar keluar bunyik sitar kita pun beransur lah masuk dlam durian tu, tengok kot-kot ada apa2 yang menarik. Mak Incik kamu sekilas pandang aje nampak susunan berkilau-kilauan telur-telur kristal seakan-akan Faberge eggs, tapi bukan lah. Paling mahal pun SGD120 aje, ikutkan hati aihh aku sambar jugak labu comel tu, bentuk katak pun ada...sabar Mak Incik sabar...Nampak pulak chocolate bar, tengok-tengok menu, banyak yg berkhimar dari yang boleh makan. Gostan.

Mak Mertua tersayang tak melepaskan peluang mengambil gambar dengan ukiran ah pek menyangkung atas bangku(gambar dia atas nun)

Malam pun makin lanjut, dan Cik Esah pun dah terkuap-kuap, terpaksalah kita beransur balik. CK kita menelefon bila kita baru masuk highway. InsyaAllah ada rezeki, ada umur, ada jodoh nak jumpa, kita cuba lagi untuk bertemu esok di Jalan Dusun ya?

Nah, Pak Incik pun sudah berlayar ke Negara La-La, Cik Esah kamu dari dalam kereta dah hanyut. Mak Incik kamu ni apa halnya terkebil-kebil lagi tak ngantuk lagi ni? Nasib baik ada SI Ayu. Okaylah, Mak Incik nak berpeleseran kat blog orang lain pulak mengkala kata takmo tidoq ni kan.

Permisio...

Reverse Peristalsis

Updates:

1. I am in talks with an already established forum to integrate Positivity Heals in it. So issues that could use our help that are posted in that particular forum shall be directed to me, and be delegated to members who have registered at positivityheals.forumco.com

2. GI Jane regime homefront is rather sluggish lately hindered by overzealous drive to cook and eat. No weight loss for the past 2 weeks save for the yoyo effect of that 2lbs tipping indecisively to the left and right of the weighing scale depending on bowel movements and water retention. Renewed membership at the club but have yet to pop over and really making use of the facilities. Maybe I'll check out the al fresco bistro. Heh.

3. Aishah is getting better although I am still not to happy with the consistency of ..ah, u know.

4. My mom's cancer mark has gone down to 35. Alhamdulillah. Thanks to all of you who have offered prayers and well wishes.

Ok, back to blogging (reiterating how self-absorbed I can get sometimes)

I woke up pretty early today to what sounded like a modulated and spoofed version of Jingle Bells from Che Anwar's phone. I would not have appreciated and reacted very kindly if it had been the "Tenenenet...tenenenet" of regular alarm clocks. Getting on the right side of the bed rewarded Che Anwar a little breakfast, an ironed polo tshirt and a matching pair of socks. It is not very often that I really fuss over his stuff in the mornings plainly because I think that I should get as much rest as I could before Aishah wakes up. Excuses.

As usual, I got online, hoping to see Ely. Fair enough, she IM-ed me just as soon as I dropped a comment at her blog. Talk about ESP, y'all. It's spooky how Ely and I sync. We had a great chat, you know how it is, when your schedule revolves around a speeding bullet of a little girl. Anyways, y'all know her mom is with her right now. So I grabbed the opportunity to ngendeng recipes. I got a great paes telur ikan recipe. I thought of making some and bringing the dish over to the inlaws but sadly when I ran through the menu with Che Anwar over the phone, he wanted nasik. *chop, kita ngantuk sambung besok pagi*

*ok, dah pagi...huwaaaaaaaaaarghhh*

Where was I? Ok, Lauk. I told him about telur ikan, encik tu tak suka pulak...Ish! I thought people would kill one another for fish roe. Back where I came from, telur ikan goreng kunyit pun dah best dah. Ini members nak masak paes dia takmo...Rugi! I know why, he grew up thinking fish roe would make him tak pandai Math. So we finalised the menu, I made Black pepper beef with asparagus and Enoki mushrooms serta Fried Kurau with Thai Sweet Sauce. As upah for my good efforts, he took time off from work and brought me to IKEA.

We bought few stuff we needed for the house and a lot more that we didn't really need but looked too cute to miss. For a huge plastic bag of bric n brac, we were relieved the bill totaled up to just $77. We sat down for the free coffee( and refills) and Swedish Almond Chocolate torte to keep Aishah quiet while Ma and Abah sink into each other's eyes( macam betul...)

I needed( cewah, "needed" siot) some cookies, so I went looking for some, ended up buying toffee lollies instead. At the checkout counter Che Anwar asked me if I would like to rekindle my romance with smoked salmon. At that point I went, "Nak, nak, nak, nak...". So he got us the salmon sandwich.

All the three of us gobbled the scrumptious feast in less than 5 minutes. And it was time to go home.

A few minutes down the road, before I could even begin to oggle the sexiest street in Singapore that houses gallerias upon gallerias of shiny hot, hot, hot stuff (think Malayan Motors, MG etc), I suddenly felt a rush of cold sweat, and goosebumps. Good thing one of the shopping bags was in the back seat. Nothing much came out but a bit of foamy stuff. Man, for a while there I thought I was in the "new addition to the family" way.

As soon as we got home, I tried to get comfy on my bed with the aircond on, and the laptop perched on its usual place of rest and chatted with Ayu. Before we could exchange anything much, I had to run off and barfed the brains outta meself.

That must have been a seriously, seriously non-zabihah salmon sandwich, that was.

Engineers' Wives Club

I read with interest a leadership slideshow by IEEE and stumbled upon some interesting things about what spouses of engineers say about their significant others. Read letters to Ann Landers.

You probably have heard of golf widows and how some of them decided to take on the green stretch themselves. For us wives of construction or on-site engineers, our stomach are often tied in knots each time dear hubby has to go away longer than we can ordinarily cope. Especially for Malaysian and Singaporean engineers mid-career, the only way to make a lil extra is to seek jobs overseas, you know, get into the expat market and all that. A lot of families have had to uproot and squat temporarily in expat comfort(betul ke?) before the engineer moves on to another contract. Some, like me, would have to wait with bated breaths every single day that the engineer would come back in one piece and that he would always always come home to me.

I remember once, when I was heavily pregnant, Che Anwar had to spend a lot of time in Indonesia ironing out some regulatory disputes between the dredgers his company hired and the Indonesian Marine Police. The hearings were held in Karimun and Batam, two little islands south of Singapore, notorious for manly extra-curricular activities. When he had to be away for more than 4 days, I packed up my stuff and rushed to the ferry jetty, luggage, huge tummy and all, to get to him, yet I had missed the last boat out. I just sat at the station, crying and crying while I spoke to him over the phone. I just could not take another night alone. I was going to stay right there until the next day and take the first ferry out. Lucky for me, Che Anwar came back the next day. Only to leave two days later.

These days he doesn't really have to go abroad save for short meetings in China and Malaysia. That, he'd go just for the meeting and catch the flight back. Poor thing.

I am most worried when he has to go down 30m underground and walk 8km in a deep tunnel which is to be christened the passageway for crude biological waste channeled to various water treatment plants. No matter how much emphasis are put on "Safety First" campaign, I am not convinced a pulley system and basket are the way to ferry people underground and up.

Even this tunnel project is almost done. There has been talk that we might have to move to South Korea. I am oh, so not ready for that. And the possibility of that construction giant to loosen the noose around the set up here and get more locals in admin. Both ways, Che Anwar would still operate as every engineer's wife's nightmare. Extramarital affair with his job.

I emphatize with O&G widows, Middle East-bound families and the likes. My mom did not have any problems though, she was a TV person, she is more married to the station back then, but who knows, she too did not like sleeping alone.

Cinta Sejati

Bila termeterainya janji
sumpah setia berkait hati
kononnya bersatu sampai mati
berbunga-bunga besar dalam hati
simpan naluri perhamba diri
cinta dipupuk hari demi hari
memadu cinta berbuah kasih
saling percaya mempercayai
rukun damai berteman serasi


Bila cinta beraja di hati
akal waras tak lagi bererti
taksub menagih kurnia pemberi
langsung lupa tugas sendiri
cinta agung pada Ilahi
yang termaktub lagi hakiki
kasih sayang tak bertepi
tak bersyarat suci murni
takkan luput di penghujung hari


Tak usah gian bila menagih
pada hamba sesama semilir
bergantung harap bersama bertatih
sampai lumpuh terus bergeser
walhal yang teguh Maha Mengasihi
yang disuruh kita memadu kasih
agar tenang meniti hari
agar iman meningkat hampir
pada sucinya cinta sejati

Kembali Ceria

The latest song in the background is a duet written by Azlan Abu Hassan, an award winning songwriter who is also a Reiki Master as well as an avid exerciser. He is my sifu in many ways than one, most importantly he is a good friend who accepts me for who I am, teaches me lessons of life when I need it, in the way that works.

Saya tujukan lagu ini khas buat suami saya, Encik Anwar Mohamed dengan ucapan..."Buat apa tu?"

Copyright belongs to EMI Publishing Sdn Bhd.

Poor Lil Aishah

It must be some kinda bug that has caused Aishah to purge watery stools for 5 straight days. She had the flu last week and as soon as her nose had dried up, her stomach threw a tantrum. She has not shown any signs of dehydration. Her energy level is normal and she is eating very well. She has no fever and not whining about any tummy upset. But Ma is worried nevertheless. Textbooks tell me to get her electrolytes, weak 100plus or pedialyte. Ginger ale on standby for nausea. I watch her temperature and keep her off playing with potential contaminants. She is on a non-dairy diet for the time being. I hope that this is just the garden variety and not anything else. I have found this site of remedies for diarrhea, thought perhaps other mommies could bookmark it. My heart goes out to Moms who have to deal with much much more serious ilnesses in their children. It does not feel right, innit when you see young 'uns suffer eh? Kesian.

Looping in My Head is...

....The Rainbow Connection Lyrics are the property and copyright of its owners.


Why are there so many songs about rainbows

And what's on the other side?

Rainbows are visions, but only illusions,

And rainbows have nothing to hide.

So we've been told and some choose to believe it

I know they're wrong, wait and see.

Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,

The lovers, the dreamers and me.

Who said that every wish would be heard and answered

When wished on the morning star?

Somebody thought of that, and someone believed it,

And look what it's done so far.

What's so amazing that keeps us stargazing

And what do we think we might see?

Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,

The lovers, the dreamers, and me.

All of us under its spell,

We know that it's probably magic......

Have you been half asleep?

And have you heard voices?

I've heard them calling my name. ...

Is this the sweet sound that calls the young sailors?

The voice might be one and the same

I've heard it too many times to ignore it

It's something that I'm s'posed to be...

Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,

The lovers, the dreamers, and me.

Laa, da daa dee da daa daa,

La laa la la laa dee daa doo...

A dark intrepretation of this song can be found here.

Lovelorn Lamentations

To wait an Hour—is long—
If Love be just beyond—
To wait Eternity—is short—
If Love reward the end
Emily Dickinson

I keep telling myself that in this day and age, a 9-5 job is a sugarcoated fantasy. I made the decision to work from home and spend most of my time playing house, ehh... keeping house just so that Aishah would have at least one parent present most of her waking hours. And especially to keep Che Anwar's needs in check. Che Anwar on the other hand is a very busy man. My neo-Stepfordian regime to spice things up a tad is often sabotaged by last minute emergency meetings or simply by my lowered energy level immediately after Aishah's Energizer batteries run out.

But sometimes, with the help of herbal and verbal supplements that I get from the company of nocturnal friends who would listen to me ramble while waiting for the man of the manor to come back, I do stay awake long enough to earn a lil sum'in sum'in. It gets very frustrating sometimes when it is way too late, when dinner begins to disintegrate, hair gets de-coiffured, candles and moods burnt out...

Before I relive an episode of Idaman, I would just give up and sink my chakras into bed and let all the bad qi be earthed. Think happy, live strong.

Peekaboo!

Cak!