A PUBLIC APOLOGY

Friends, akibat terlampau syok sendiri with our own lives, we have inadvertantly and apparently hurt the feelings of our fellow active blogger, Susan Abraham.

Dear Susan,

On behalf of this humble circle of friends, I am terribly sorry things took the wrong turn and severed whatever friendships we have established following recent events. We have never had any malicious intent against you and have not made deliberate attempts to be hurtful towards you. However, it is possible that my friends and I have miscommunicated our intentions (I must go back to school and check my English) that we have caused things to get out of hand. For that, please accept our apology.

I do not think my friends are gossip-mongering bullies.We are not blog appraisers nor are we literary people. We do not have any authority and skills to give literary and/or linguistic values to anybody's blogs/books at all. We are merely bloggers with real lives and real feelings. We happen to enjoy each other's company. It's a unfortunate that we bore you with our Women Magazine material, Susan. We would not know what's the difference between magz stuff or top ten NY Times Best Seller stuff, we are peace loving with a lot to give to each other. Thing is, we have indeed become quite rich in each other's company. I put it to you,Susan, Nazrah and friends have not meant you any harm.

Keriuk keriuk basikal berkarat

Memecah sepi pekan Sedili

Orang tak kata orang tak umpat

Ada cermin berucap sendiri.

Salam Muhibbah,

Nazrah

With Cik Lin 

Bu...nga! 

Buat cam gini, nak... 

Aishah Kenit

You're my honey bun, sugar plum, pumpi-umpi-ump-kin, you're my sweetie pie. You're my cuppy cake, gum drops, snookums bookums you're, the apple of my eye... And I love you so, and I want you to know, that I'll always be right here. And I love to sing these songs to you, because you are so dear!"

My Adrenaline Machine

I had a wonderful chat with Kak Tenah yesterday. She pointed out something that made me look back and say , "Yeah la, Aishah is not as naughty as I make her out to be". I figured that it is unfair of me not to highlight how wonderful this little bundle of heaven that this daughter of mine has been. Well, I am not kidding when I said that she is a mess-maker supremo and a bullet train personified, but if you see her, spend at least 10 minutes with her, you will give her mom a good pinch for complaining so much.

Let me just share with you how I start my day with divine sunshine on my face. She usually wakes up earlier than I. What she would normally do is sit next to me on my bed, and put her face so close to mine with a wide smile plastered on her face, waiting for me to open my eyes. Upon feeling that something is breathing down my being, I would open my eyes and see the apple of my eye, in between my eyes, so close I'd get 'em crossed. Without fail, she would greet me with,

"Mommie, it's daytime, wake up!" , to which I will say,

"Alaaa, 5 minutes".

She must have been a boarding school warden in her previous life ( figuratively lah, I don't believe in reincarnations, thank you), she would pull my blankie and literally peel open my eyelids and tell me to "Kemas, kemas, kemas...!" while lifting up heavy down pillows konon-konon nak straighten up the place.

On lazy days, she would just lift my arm and put her head on my armpit and nuzzle close and say all the right things to me and we'd just spend tender moments in bed till about 11 am before she'd send me running to the kitchen to make her makan.

She a handy help in the kitchen too. She's actually my little commis chef who would get me my onions, garlic and what nots. Yesterday we made Fried Po Chai Noodles, and she was in charged of things. While I was bordering hypertensive keeping her off the stove, she was actually quite kitchen-savvy. She liked her cooking so much, we had to make a second batch.

She speaks to her grandmother almost everyday. On days that she's been especially messy, she'd report to her nani what a headache she's been. When I hear that, I would normally tear up and punish myself for apprehending her. But at least she knows what she's not supposed to do.

I would get a taste of my own medicine when I spill things. She would come to me and nag nag nag nag nag ....

"Why Ma spill the water?",

"Why Ma make mess?",

"See, the floor is dirty",

"Apaaaa la Ma niiiiiiiiihhh...Tsk... Tsk... Tsk.."

Being the absent-minded klutz around the house, I'd always bump into things. At the sound of my "adoi" and "alamak", Aishah would come to the rescue with our standard emergency procedure, "Aishah blow, Aishah kiss, thaaaaaaat's better."Dah baik dah...When my sister discovered that she had a breastlump and freaked out not knowing what lump it was,Aishah was in tears because Ucu won't let her go inside the room to see if everything was okay. I still remember her words,

"Ucu is sick, Aishah wants to see. Aishah nak sayang Ucu"

It amazes me how much compassion she has, for such a young kid. Ntah2 nak jadi tuan loktol tak? Amin... A clown doctor maybe, since she tickles my funny bone all the time with her antics, it is so hard to stay upset.

During our lessons and play time, she pays attention to instructions and would quickly try things out herself. And then some. Bila dah try sendiri tu paham2 je lah bersepahnya macam mana. I read somewhere that if you can get a toddler to focus for a full 5 minutes, that would be super. She can sit still a little under 5 minutes before she speeds off to another activity, I just let her be.

Aishah is also very gracious host. She would be very busy when guests come over. She gives a brief tour of her domain, her toys etc. She loves to serve food and drinks to our guests. I think she likes being able to do grown up things, to be independent, have a sense of purpose and responsibility.

Abah is a bit concerned that she has not learned to read. I am already so ecstatic that she recognises some words already, no need to pressure lah. She can count to 20 and can do kindy math like 1 plus 1 etc. Tak payah lah tahu banyak-banyak sangat, or she'd get bored in school later. Like Kak Tenah ajar, let her explore the world around her, which I think is a wholesome approach. I call it, freestyla !

I am convinced Aishah is by nature exceptional in her own ways. I just hope to be able to provide her with the right kind of enrichment just so that she will breeze through life. God willing. I am glad that she has shown very high EQ, her complex thought processes are outstanding that she outsmarts me to get her way. Her IQ is not yet Stephen Hawking's material la, tapi I think she will get by okay.

Most importantly, I want Aishah to be able to love properly, and know that she is loved by her family. I want love to be a non-issue, not something she will have to seek attention to get validated. I want her to feel at home at home. InsyaAllah.

As much as I would like to collect good memories with my own mother, I'd like to give good memories to my darling Safiyya Aishah Anwar, my "kakak big girl". That special way you touch my cheeks and say, "Sayyyang, Ma" and your noisy wet kisses are gems in my heart. I love you, boot boot....

Promo Jangan Tak Promo

Assalamu'alaikum,
Announcing the special mailing-list offer..for all of you who get this info through the internet....our carnival sale will start on 23 July 2005 , but the preview for the mailing list members & friends ( so forward this to your friends....) will begin Friday 15 July 2005.
What's on sale? Well....this time it is storewide ( but tudungs will not have that big 40% discount.....got a bit...but must read on....).
Discounts are from 10% - 50%.......including the jubah seluar linen, the blouses, the denim skirts, men's shirts ( up to 30% off...jadi RM66 or so....), various tudungs....and we also have baju kurungs and kebaya ( beaded & embroidered) going for 40% off.
Selendang T & Tudung T Offer ( Purchase with Purchase...)
For purchases above RM200, you get 10% off the tudung ( including the new arrivals and if your purchase is just tudungs....)
New Arrivals, Haji & Umrah Department and Accessories are not on sale, but you are still eligible for the tudung offer.
Stocks are limited, so don't wait too long.....
Ina Ali
Stylist, Marketing & PR Manager
Sri Munawwarah Design
33 Jln Tun Mohd Fuad 3
Taman Tun Dr Ismail
60000 Kuala Lumpur
Opening Hours
Monday - Saturday : 9.30 am - 6.30 pm
Sunday : 10 am - 6 pm

Little Nemo Leftover

Algae Invasion

The Bullet That Put A Hole in our Pocket 

*batting eyelids, beaming*

I don't know whether to laugh or to cry but a Mr Jay Kahn, a marine life enthusiast has linked my mini reef mayhem entry to his blog.

I guess Che Anwar and I can be a classic example of what-not-to-do eh?

All that, and yet I can't help but feel honoured that my humble entry was highlighted, and that people might learn the lesson I've learnt oh-so-well. Thanks again Jay.

Notice of Resignation

Image is originally published HERE

I was about to burst into tantrums considering the state of my house following the demise of my mini reef, I decided to ignore the mess and turned on the tv instead. I found a show that was just beginning, and how aptly was it titled to match my mood at the time, "Desperate Housewives". I know, I know, the hullabaloo about these chicas are oh-so-over but you see, I don't really watch TV these days, since I got my fix from blogging.Heheh. I wasn't really watching, since I was thinking about how pointless it has become to clean the floor of my house only to get it dirty again. Plus, the d*mnation of having lizards with poor sanitary habits squatting behind my picture frames leaving dried skid marks( Ely's term for benda2 terselet) on my lemony beige walls. And, God help me, no thanks to an open lid blender of a two year old who has turned greenfingers, de-potting my small patch of an almost dying green corner, scattering earth all over the place pretending it's winter and that she's playing with snow. Grr...

So,with my laptop comfortably perched atop God-given cushion and stealing glances at the going-ons on Wisteria Lane, I was fascinated by this character Bree Van De Kamp. I thought wow, how immaculate the Van De Kamp's home is. For a while, I was thinking, hey, that would every husband's dream come true huh, the idea of isteri solehah, domestic goddess wuteva. Until the husband asked for a divorce telling Bree that he could not take all that uptight Stepford-wife wannabe perfection. When he said, "I am tired of living like a detergent commercial", or something like that, it hit me. Oh-oh! If I am not careful, I would forget that I have other people living in my house who have every right to do what they like in a place they call their home.

Kak Teh and I had a discussion with me about housekeeping issues a few months ago when I was griping about having to pick up after people all the time, and how hard it is to keep my floor shiny and muck-free. As a result of that, I made the hijrah from the anal spasticolon to this blog which has been more positive than manic depressive eh? However, there are times when I think the old demons do get to me especially when it gets too messy that I have to go to bed with things still lying around the house.

I took a Desperate Housewives Quiz and found myself to be wee bit like a Bree without the hairspray, and that got me a wee bit worried. Hey, I don't want to be a Martha Stewart on steroids and make the people in my household feel uncomfortable in their own home. So folks, I give up. I will only use ONE magic mop and not be too uptight when things are slightly askew.See how it goes.

Hope it won't be as hard as losing this pack of jellied pastries on my multi-tiered waistline. Eww, ugly picture innit? Any success stories from other GI Janes? I, for one, gotta get back to the drawingboard. Heheh.

Makeover Magic

I decided to make use of an old animated typography of my name done by an old friend, the co-founder of Manggis some 5-6 years ago, back when we were colleagues. My braddah from the same moddah did the housekeeping.Thank you both. Thank you also MakNenek for my previous banner. I will kecek from you again for my next renovation.

The new song has been put up by Nana, entitled Ku Miliki Abadi, music by Anak Pak Abu Hassan , lirik oleh Anak Pak Aji Nasir. Enjoy! It's a new day after all!

Tak kuduga belum lama cinta kita
diperdaya gelora berlalu saja

Asmara yang dalam dada
tak lagi didamba
walau pernah hadir dalam jiwa

Keluhuran kasih dicari
hadir menghiasi sepi di hati
ku jelajahi bahagia yang ku ukir sendiri
selagi kuberupaya
berkasih*
ku miliki abadi

Dicari-cari dimanakah silapnya
pesona melukai hati yang rapuh

*Gemilangkan cinta,
kepada yang sudi,
bahagia yang sebenar kini hadir
....oh kasih....
selagi ku berupaya berkasih
kumiliki abadi yang abadi

Angsty Amateur Aquarists

We started off with big dreams, as colorful and lively as the animated movie Finding Nemo, a miniscule version of the Underwater World at Sentosa. We got ourselves a couple of clown fish, blue tangs, damsels, goby, gramma, firefish together with a handful of soft and hard corals, sponges and live rocks with great hope to one day become invincible aquarists. The thing with maintaining a mini reef, you gotta have a manic obsessive streak in you to have the will to constantly check the balance of an artificial ecosystem.

For three years, my house became a marine biology lab, with sticky floors and home-made raw seasalt crystallizing on various surfaces. We have a 4-foot bullet tank which is meant for tropical fish systems but because I thought it would look nice in my living room, lesser informed then about how messy marine systems can get. It was an expensive mistake, we had to correct all shortcomings with more expensive mistakes. We tried from the Smithsonian style to the Berlin-style minus the external sump to combining every equipment we could get our hands on. Just because the bullet tank was not designed to support a marine tank and we did not have the diligence to constantly keep the water quality pristine enough, corals and fish could not live happily ever after. We had a problem with high temperature, so we got a huge chiller that is so noisy, it's hard to think straight. Since the bullet tank has a covered top, it is so difficult to feed the fish manually. Some of them require thong-feeding of live food. That's just the tip of the iceberg. Everytime Che Anwar has to do something to the mini reef, he'd be so bingit I'd slip away into another room and blog, oblivious to doomsday waiting to happen.

Many a coral have died, so have sponges and most of all, our fish slowly disappeared as the hardier of the species became more territorial and predatorial. All the the non-confrontational and docile little fries were gobbled by the bigger ones. It became worse when we bought a lionfish, a grouper and a few triggerfish. It was very hard to catch up with their perakus pelahap carnivorous appetite. Even the doctor shrimps, snails, worms and hermit crabs weren't spared. When the bottom-grazing, and algae-eating critters have ceased to exist, came the most harrowing problem, high nitrates, resulting in hairy, slimy green stuff all over the place., not unlike the picture of that fish tank in "Finding Nemo" when the filter system went gazoink enabling Nemo to escape. Well, I did have clownfish and neon anemones.

The simple rule of keeping the mini reef as closely reminiscent with that of a natural ecosystem is not easy at all. The philosophy of duplicating the natural environments is a far fetched one as far as I am concerned. No series of tests based on tables after tables of parameters and obsessively monitoring the fish helped revive a decaying reef that was my fishtank. Sadly, the overzealous aquarists that Che Anwar and I aspired someday to become are throwing in the towel. Almost.

Yesterday, we gave up all of our fish for adoption save for Nemo, the surviving original fish we got when we first started. Twas indeed a sad and heartbreaking ordeal. It felt like we were bad parents, having to give up our kids to social service. Looking at the empty tank, without the graceful display of narcissism from the lion fish, nor the mafia godfather of a grouper, and piranha-like frenzy of the trigger fish, we feel so defeated yet a tad bit relieved that they are all now in the hands of professional fish people who will eventually sell them 5 times more expensive than the price we bought them for. We really fed them well but we failed at keeping house. Sigh.

With a huge eyesore in the hall, empty, lifeless and a small quarantine tank where Nemo currently resides, we are at a loss! To change to a tropical planted aquarium holds yet another future of heartbreaking meticulous watch over a similarly intricate ecosystem, minus the salt.

We have not decided on anything just yet. Che Anwar thinks the next time he wants to buy fish, it would be an Arowana, no need for rocks and plants. As if keeping those feng shui-friendly creatures is easy. Food for brilliant scales, special lightings, extra tank for live food. Aiyoh!What am I going to do with those marine equipments? I am already thinking about making a horticulture terrarium with landscapes of my kampung in the bullet tank, but I will hold that thought until Anwar is ready to give up fish-keeping altogether. He does not want the easy way out of this, which would be selling the bullet tank, buy a "double storey" system and start over a new mini reef. While lovingly supporting my husband's hobbies however half-cooked the ideas may be because Singaporean men have very little time for hobbies. I just need to make sure whatever it is, my house is kept in livable, do-able order. Asal tak macam tongkang pecah sudah.

My love affair with the mop is slowly blowing in the wind as Aishah now loves to spit on the floor and make green slimy patches of dodol or any sticky item for that matter, on the floor, and I am giving up my Monica-esque obsession. It's too tiring and so heartbreaking to find my lysol-ed and 3M-ed surfaces clean for just slightly over 5 minutes before my post-modernist expressionist artist gets to work.

Uja, let's arrange for a meeting before all that dodol end up on my floor. Please?!