Thanks MakNenek

Thank you MakNenek dahling for my wet sireh header. Esok-esok tambah kapur, gambir and tembakau eh? Kacip and gobek sekali.

Cocoa Cravings

Espresso Sundae

Kakteh's new banner aggravated my unpacifiable sweet tooth. As I was telling her earlier today that my body is going through this survival phase. I was on this pre-30th birthday weight loss program and my body was in starvation mode for 4 months. Now that I am officially off it, after having lost 30 lbs, my body thinks it should stock up before my next fad diet. Macam kiasu takut tak cukup makan. If you've noticed, I have been talking about food a lot lately. And eating them too. That's because I am constantly feeling very hungry.

Especially for meat, chocolate and bread. Fastrack to astronomical Body Mass Index. I have only 10 Godiva caraques left in the fridge, a few leftover easter eggs, maybe 7 heartshaped milk chocs, some nougats,brownies, M&Ms, ChuppaChups and a huge fruit and nut Cadbury at the inlaws just in case. I am keeping away from PapaRotti and Beijing Confectionery. Somebody please stop me!

Attempts to lure me in the direction of delectable desserts have been very successful, with a tea party scheduled this afternoon, heard that there will be eclairs and cream puffs. Also meeting a new friend later who has organic chocolates from Kak Teh. All the way from Londra. Yipeeyayeay!

I am trying to exercise more rigorously now as my weight has reached a plateau, threatening to tip to the right most days. In fact I think I have put on 4-5 lbs easily on water retention days. I take away the guilt by taking Orang Kampung herbal tea twice a day. It has not helped me lose weight but at least I get to bog all the junk I eat, or at least that's what I think.

I think my qigong has to be upgraded to more intense routine lah. Sebenarnya, I am a bit panicky because my best friend has toned up and is going up Kinabalu this weekend. The only mountain I get to see these days is my pile of laundry. Perhaps I will get reacquainted with my taebo CD eh Zana? Even my neighbour is boasting about his 10 kilo weight loss, from jogging and yoga. Even Dr Bubbles has lost 10 lbs. Apa macam daa....

Tension! Tension!

Makan chocolates lah...Bila la Tracey nak call ni...

Stay In Bed Mom

Aishah and S*** had a playdate yesterday. I volunteered to prepare a Moorish lunch at Zana's place, since I had borrowed her Middle Eastern recipe book. I had also intended to test run cooking in a Moroccan tagine there. Well, you know how things are, we can only plan so well la kan?

I "studied" the recipe book,concluded that the dishes lack variation in ingredients and that I would not be able to stay interested enough to cook with the same herbs and spices all the time. Ala, you and I know that my fridge isn't well stocked for a Mediterranean dish, hence the lame lazy bum excuses. It's Thursday whaaat? I will only stock up on Sunday.

So happens that I was camping out at MIL's place since I have cleaned my house and got the laundry out of the way. Sneaky huh? Ala, lagipun, it was time to spend some time with my SIL who came back from Lahore. Anyways, my MIL's freezer was also in dire straits need of replenishing jugak. Nak dijadikan cerita, not much options to whizz over the stove, so I headed to the neighbourhood grocer. Bapak punya mahal sekor ayam!!! 7 dollars for a chicken. I usually pay $4.50 only at the supermarket. I guess that pop yeh yeh grocer knew I was desperate so he slaughtered me lah! I also got a kilo of prawns for 7 dollars jugak.I am quite squirmish when it comes to chopping the heads and legs off a chicken, so I made him prepare the chicken for me.

Got the meat.Still had no idea what to cook.

I saw some Granny Smiths and good looking seedless red grapes. Ha, got idea!! I'll just cheat and cook ala Provencal-wannabe. Bought meself a jar of Scotch Marmalade and rushed home. Smeared some garlic paste and half a jar of that orangey bittersweet jelly, salt and pepper. Massaged and rubbed off my frustrations on that poor chicken. Chopped the apples and scattered the grapes. A little sprinkle of rosemary here and there. And Plonk! Into the oven it went, covered in foil.

Hmm, what else? Rice. Boiled some rice in chicken broth and threw in leftover dried mixed fruit. Soaked some of my MIL's precious saffron in milk and mixed into the cooked rice, a few knobs of butter thrown in. Garnish some toasted shallots. Siap!

I had one hour to spare and since I made use of MIL's kitchen, it is only fair that I cooked something for her as well. You know, when your MIL says you should not worry about her lunch, she means, masak pun bagus! She does not fancy chicken that much. I had the prawns remember? Apa lagi, meyambal la kita.

Mind you, I was already dressed to go out, the pungent smell of belacan, spoiled my whole do. Ha? What do? I was in a hurry what? So much for tak payah la masak untuk mak. After a few belacan-induced sneezes, she popped in the kitchen, a wide smile on her face.

Mak dah lapar.

Alamak! Nasi Putih takde!!! Luckily Mak got the cue and cooked a few lengs of rice for those who must eat white rice and sambal at least once a day.

Okay, lunch for both parties was ready, I did not have the time to un-belacan my body, so I quickly spritzed some Envy and off we went to Pasir Ris. You can't even begin to imagine the clash of olfactory suicide.

Everyone was so hungry when we got there. Zana made chicken as well, almond chicken in lemony, herby sauce cooked in an authentic tagine. We were so hungry, malas nak set up the table nicely. Makan nasi campur style. The aubergine salad she made was so beautiful it brought out the taste of all the dishes we had that day. So lunch was a success. So well that we only realised that we could have got a great shot of the spread after there were just chicken bones leftover.

Later konon-konon nak burn off the calories, we went downstairs and had a bit of what I would like to classify as exercise, chasing after our kids. After a bit of art and kejap gaduh kejap sayang playdate, the mommies had a short session catching up while the girls watched Sesame Street. I scanned a copy of Vanity Fair. Wahh, I didn't know what got into me, I almost wished I was Angelina Jolie's horseriding pants. (Mohon ampun, kalau tersinggung). She's just so gorgeous. So not for Brad Pitt.

We got back to our house quite late. Had a fruitive chit chat with my rockstar, got me an East Coast roadtrip, yeay! Dozed off after I tired myself out waiting for him to give back my laptop. The other laptop's wireless was not working so he hijacked mine. I won't admit that he was depriving me of the sheer joy of blogging, and how pathetically desperate I was to get my bloghop fix.

It must be the weather or all that food I had earlier, when I woke up this morning, I was not in the mood to do anything housewifely. Except perhaps that mug of coffee and salmon-chillipadi-bawang for his cracker breakfast, that's also because I was so hungry, I was going to eat his leftovers. As soon as Che Anwar left, I rushed to get my darling thinkpad on my chunky thunders and blogged a tribute to Rye. Ahhh...lega. Asal ada topic, hentam je.

Begitu begini, it was close to lunch time and I was still in bed. Malas. Baloq liat.

Che Anwar called to ask me what I wanted for lunch. He hardly ever asks "Masak apa ni hari?". That makes it such a joy for me to cook for him. He never expects me to cook. Alhamdulillah. So this afternoon, my dapur tak berasap. He brought back lontong and mee rebus.

Mati idup balik tak sedap. Both looked like air basuhan pinggan post-kenduri kahwin. Because of that, teruja to cook his favourite dinner sebab baik hati jugak bawak balik lunch. Thank you Ah Be.

Sultan Sirloin

This dish is suitable for grasshoppers, and busy people who enjoys soulfood but Mommie is too far away. Ayu dan Atenah, sila ambil pena mata bola.

Steak tu, Ayes , Tenah and Ayu, you just chug it into a sealable sandwich bag, a few dashes of malt vinegar or balsamico tradizionale and Montreal steak shakers, ke apa2 rubbing salts you can get at your nearest supermarket. Otherwise, generous shakes of coarsely ground peppercorns would do. Marinade in the chiller while you prepare the condiments.

I just boiled some russet potatoes, peel and mixed in Dijonnaise. Then I chopped some bawang goreng and fresh coriander leaves. Gaul.

Mommie says you must eat a lot of veges. So microwave-steam some broccolli, baby corn and earthy mushrooms after a light sprinkling of salt for 2 minutes.

When you are ready to eat, just melt some butter or a little olio, and panfry your steak to your liking. Che Anwar likes his medium rare. Sat saja tau. You would not want to eat slippers for dinner.

Construct your plate as you like it. Drizzle some of that steak juice over your steamed veges.

Jom mamam!

Sure fire way to guarantee another lazy day in bed, blogging.

Fragrant Rye

My Baby Sister, Rye

She's the 5th accidental baby that was conceived a little while after my Ayah came back from his Hajj pilgrimage. I remember vividly that little slow dance my parents shared in their bedroom upon Ayah's return. Whatever happened next is up to your imagination because I slowly tiptoed downstairs and left the two lovebirds be.

A few months after, Mak announced that she was going to have a baby. The months went by fairly easily and swimmingly that nothing held Mak back from her outdoor shoots and long hours at the tv station, almost forgetting about her huge bulge. She's unstoppable when it came to capturing the best shots for her magazine program.

She knew it was going to be a girl. We were all excited with the new boost to our girl power in the household. Mak was so busy that when it was time to name her anak bungsu a couple of weeks before EDD, I helped her go through the Islamic Names book while she was in the little girl's room. She said she liked the name Rehana, after that sweet looking actress in Gila Gila Remaja. So we wanted to check on the correct spelling for the Arabic pronunciation. We found Raihana, which means a bouquet of sweet smelling blooms. I remember squealing in delight outside the WC door when we found the name, can't imagine what kind of A-ha moments my mom was having in the toilet. She came out a very happy woman, her new baby's name has been finalised. Whether it was entirely because of that, I was too young to process.

My baby sister was born 10th of June 1987. I remember going to SJMC and seeing her for the first time. She looked exactly like a Japanese doll my Dad had bought for my mom during his trip to Tokyo. I touched her chubby cheeks, all my mom's kids came out big and fat, we almost looked 3 months old; there was this shockingly exciting buzz of static. I touched again, there it was again. Waah, her skin was so soft it had static electric.

Her younger days were filled with a lot of love and great fun. She is the lucky baby to have enjoyed the trappings of more involved parents, with my mom slowing down from TV work, and my dad working from home most of the time. All the 3 of us big sisters; Kak Long, Baya, Diana and I mothered her since the day she was born until now. Even Abang Hafidz pampered her in his strange macho lanun way.

She is now in Perth, the farthest she has been on her own, albeit a whole town of our Masjid Tanah, Melaka folks in Bentley to spy on her. We all miss her. Especially Mak who is soothing her empty nest syndrome by going on yet another honeymoon with Ayah. I miss her cooking. She is one of those people who can really make a nice dish of something as simple as potatoes.

She's been to my house thrice and I love it when she gets excited looking into my larder and fridge. When she is around I get to relax ,she'll take over Aishah and help herself in the kitchen.

I can go on and on endlessly about how great my baby sister is, suffice to say, she is every parent's dream come true and a lovely chummy sister at that.

I gave her a call last night and we had a long chat. She went shopping earlier during the day and was trying on her new jacket, ooh aah-ing over the bulu-bulu kat leher, bulu-bulu kat sleeves...

She must be doing okay.

Happy 18th Birthday, Rye Tebobut. Sorry no cake from me this year, I hope that little gizmo reached you safely.

*meekkk...but but...*

Translation: I love you.

Does Not Hurt To Be Nice

Note to reader: Please highlight this page by pressing control A if the fonts and colors do not load properly. Thank you, Ayu for the tip.

I think I have kept mum about this issue for far too long. I have been observing passively like a spineless coward, the ruckus over nitty gritty things almost with voyueristic fascination and had kept my protests very quiet in order to avoid conflicts with other people. But today my right thigh has been pinched and the pain has spread to my left. My tendons are twitching to kick some butts, but I choose deal with this as maturely as my brain capacity will permit. I will need you to help De Bono this thing with me like an adult, so that something reasonably proactive can be done.

****Please stop here if you have somewhere else to go, something else to do.Do a spasti, and come back when you have the time. Makcik Nazrah is going to pot pet pot pet a bit here. Sapa yang makan cili, sila la pegi minum susu untuk hilangkan pijar.

I am very sure all of you have noticed that a lot of bloggers have been swarmed by unsolicited verbal(textual?) assaults as well as Simon-esque (of American Idol fame) critical pots that have the propensity to call other kettles black. Some have even reached the pinnacle of bloghood stardom to have randy spoofs and a cult of protesters. Some has sadly closed down out of the sheer lethargy of having to put up with difficult people. Sometimes it brings about introspection of the very reason why a blogger blogs in the first place.

We all know that blogging is a free platform for self expression yet we have also agreed that blogging is a very public endeavor. When in public, there is a certain rule of conduct that we need to observe in order to maintain a certain degree of order. Even if you need to rave and rant selfishly about something, there is a chance that someone else might be reading what you have written and may take you seriously. If your blog is for your selfish indulgence and you would feel uncomfortable when someone throws at you a rotten cabbage, then please write a disclaimer or a simple guideline on how one should read your blog. I keep telling myself, in order to communicate effectively, one must make the conscious effort to communicate creatively. If one is not bothered to be nice to people, or one is just being nice to potential friends(with benefits) as a popularity campaign, please don't retaliate when bad apples are thrown at you. When dropping comments at other people's blogs, please understand that those people would someday pop over to yours and check you out. If your niceness contradicts the persona you paint on your blog, or you keep spitting to the clouds,please wake up and tell yourself that you brought this upon yourself and that your spew will fall smack on your pert little nose. If you do not care about what people say to you or about you, then behave as if you are not the least bit perturbed. If you do care, or somewhat affected by the negative energies when someone put forth ideas that criticizes yours, or someone not singing in tune with your chorus, the nice thing to do is check your work and apologise if your ideas do not sit well on other people's palate. When you are sorry. Say sorry. Not, "I am sorry I flipped, but..."

You are not sorry if you but-but like that!

And when somebody apologizes to you, have the grace to accept it and forgive him/her. Forgiving does wonders.

As far as my small circle of blogfriends are concerned, if I have gathered correctly, all of us are a bunch of peace-loving, family-oriented people with a hint of spunk and a lot of energy for life. Most of us here do not like spats, brawls and catfights. I have also noticed that almost all of you are also very in touch with your feelings, which justifies how sensitive we can get especially with regards to issues that are dearest to our hearts. Let's learn to live with each other okay, warts and all. A little respect goes along way.

I have found a simplified version of Rebecca Blood's The Weblog Handbook: Practical Advice on Creating and Maintaining Your Blog here . I think all of us would benefit from this.

The Etiquette of Weblogs

•Never, ever launch a personal attack on someone (especially other bloggers). Not only does this lessen your own credibility, but it also causes problems which are likely to never be resolved satisfactorily.

•If you ever become the victim of such a personal attack,the best policy is to ignore it. If you get involved, you are taking time away from the valuable construction of your own material

•Don't ask someone to link to your weblog... If he (or she) truly wants to
lead his readers to your site, he will do so at his own discretion.

•Always give proper credit where it is due when linking to others' websites or taking links from someone else's website

•If you will be unable to update your weblog for a while, inform your readers of when you plan on returning to its upkeep so they don't waste time checking it while you are away.

•Always warn readers if the content of a link may be something they will not approve of or simply will not want to see. Do this explicitly, in words, somewhere very close to the link itself.

•Try to answer as many e-mails from your readers as you can, but don't waste time doing it if it affects the development of your weblog.

The Ethics of Weblogs

•Only claim that something as fact if you know it to be true or can
prove it to be true.

•If you take material from online sources, link to it when you make references to it

•If you correct mistakes in an entry, make some sort of public notification of this (such as providing better links, or leaving the original entry intact and then creating another copy below it that is designated as more recent and correct).

•Add to entries at your leisure, but do not change (rewrite or delete) them, because others may depend upon your material to support their material via links, and for this to work your original material must remain unchanged

•If there is a conflict of interest in your entries, let your readers know about it.

•If a source seems questionable or is obviously biased, tell your readers that *before* you give them a link to the source, so they will be prepared to interpret it fairly.

Source:http://blogs.setonhill.edu/ChristopherUlicne/005090.html

Okay, De Bono time.

Sapa yang ada meeting ke, belum makan ke, belum mandi ke, selesaikan tanggungjawab anda itu dulu ok. Pot pet lama lagi ni..

I would like to propose a technique which one can keep handy when reading someone else's thoughts or ideas online, that are presented without facial expressions, intonation and are often very arbitrary.

Put on your multicolored De Bono thinking hats

When reacting to a presented idea, run this sequence in your head, before you open your mouth or before your fingers start rattling comments:

Red: Find out the existing feelings about the idea.

Yellow: Make an effort to find the benefits of the idea.

Black:Point out weaknesses,problems and dangers of the idea.

Green: See if the idea can be modified to strenghten the yellow hat benefits and to overcome the black hat problems

White: See if available information can help in modifying the idea to make it more acceptable ( if the red hat feelings are against the idea you got so far)

Green: Develop a final suggestion

Black:Judgment of the final suggestion.

Red: Find out the feelings on the outcome

For MRSM alumni, remember PMI (Plus Minus Interesting)?

Okay, kursus kemahiran berfikir dah selesai for now.

Now, let's have a little pot pet on pragmatics. Anedra's daddy-O can absolutely help me with this, take over the pot pet session pun boleh. Or even better, blog as guest at Anedra's if I may be so audacious to suggest.

In order to be able to participate in a conversation/social interaction in a relatively harmonious atmosphere, we must observe a certain degree of politeness. A series of maxims explains how politeness operates in conversational exchanges. That's what linguists call the politeness principle.

Geoffrey Leech's maxims

Tact maxim:minimise cost to other first; maximise benefit to other
Generosity maxim: minimise benefit to self first; maximise cost to self
Approbation maxim : minimise dispraise of other first; maximise praise of other
Modesty maxim: minimise praise of self first; maximise dispraise of self
Agreement maxim: minimise disagreement between self and other first;maximise agreement between self and other
Sympathy maxim: minimise antipathy between self and other first; maximise sympathy between self and other

And last but not least, a little pepatah hukum (legal maxims) for us to ponder upon, and I would appreciate it if Kakteh can translate it for us. Pastu sesapa yang boleh blog about the 7 habits of highly effective people (ke apa Br Riza?), please do. Melayu/____ (contoh je, bangsa lain pun masuk jugak, sila isi tempat kosong dengan jawapan yang sesuai) berpakat bermuafakat berkata sepakat takkan melarat, betul tak?

Adat bersendi Hukum

Hukum bersendi Kitabullah

Kuat adat, tak gaduh hukum

Kuat hukum, tak gaduh adat

Ibu hukum Muafakat

Ibu adat Muafakat

That's all the pot pet ke arah blogging berhemah I can afford for today.

This pot pet is primarily for myself to beringat and for us yang beradat dan beradab kalau sudi nak terima cadangan saya untuk berbaik-baik sangka dan menjaga adab, tertib dan tatasusila sesama bloggers. Kalau ada niat nak cubit peha kanan saya, tolonglah pikir baik-baik.
Jangan zalimi atau ditempelak orang yang diam-diam ubi.Wahai bad qi, gi main jauh-jauh...Nyah kau dari peha kananku.

Dah. Tu je

.

Supersized Satay

I had missed out on Ewok's heirloom satay recipe because I had the flu last week. I did not bloghop, and see what I've missed. I googled for one and decided to try it. I am hoping that if my satay did not come out right, I might be able to persuade Ewok to share with me the real deal. At least I have given it a go, so the satay sifu can't say I lack initiative or plain lazy.*wink*

I have been planning to make satay for weeks, but I kept postponing it because I was not feeling up to it. Until yesterday when I decided to give myself a treat after Sunday's superglue fiasco. I followed the internet recipe and in two hours I got 10 giant spicy skewered satay. The satay sticks were so big I was brought down memory lane with lipsmacking thoughts of Sate Ria.

I think everything looked good but it failed miserably at taste. It tasted like my satay was grilled nicely and fell into the sea. Masin. I could almost hear my dad say, " Ni sate B*atak ko apo ni?". There was a problem with the kuah as well. I could not make it runny no matter how much water I added to it. I called my MIL for damage control.

She asked me the lowdown of my recipes and laughed.

"Kuah satay mana ada santan nak oi!" Laa, I followed the recipe maa, it says that I have to put thick coconut milk.

My MIL gave me a short culinary lecture and I learned a few things.

Peanut sauce with santan, cumin and coriander is Kuah Jenganan.

Peanut sauce without santan with cumin, coriander and kenchor (one of those fragrant tubers) is kuah gado gado.

Peanut sauce without santan, cumin and coriander is for tauhu goreng.

Mohariz of Kajang taught me a new word.

Majal

Resipi di internet memang ada yang sengaja nak majalkan orang.

I don't think it's in the Kamus Dewan. Perhaps it's short for men... + dajal+...kan.

Maybe there is such a word, I would not know. He's the one who reads Usman Awang.

So the biggest lesson learned here is that one has to apprentice with a master chef before one can achieve connoissuer standards. MIL told me to keep servings small for elegance and refinement. Food in gargantuan proportions is for kuli-kang. Well, she is the nyonya matriarch, I can't argue with that. I made my satay gigantic because I am perakus, a glutton. Eheh.

My satay sauce apparently had too much peanut so I was told to remove some of the sauce, add more water,oil and lemongrass. I asked her if I could try basting my satay with honey and oil, in hope that the salt will wash off.

Anwar came home and gave it a taste test. There was a long silence before I was given my feedback.

Taste-wise, he said it was really good but he can' t really call this satay. It lacked something.

So I CSI-ed my satay and he agreed that it lacked the woody smoky flavour to it because I oven-grilled it and that there were no fat in the meat. My MIL scored points when he agreed that the satay is too beef-ed up, too supersized for fine dining.

Luckily, my damage control worked, otherwise I'd declare mogok on my oven. Or the kitchen all together. Strangely, he did not give me any points. he usually does.

Twas good, but it wasn't satay.

So, Ewok sayaaaaaaaaaaang, would you be so kind to share with me your precious satay recipe. Pretty please? I could ask kakteh with your permission. Please?

Menderus berdesir mengusik kalbu, nun di sana tanahairku 

Pantai Ponggol banyak sejarahnya, hari ini Ponggol aku yang empunya. Hore! 

Lancang berlabuh ronanya kuning, mengubat rindu si dagang skodeng 

Sedulous Sunday Superglued

My flu is gone and I was tearfullly reunited with my mops, solvents and detergents. Please, please stop thinking that I am a neat freak who is in constant war with grease, dustmites, germs and bad smells( did I miss anything?). I must admit I love the smell of bleach, disinfectants and detergents. However, my house is far from those pictures you see in Good Housekeeping, not even close to the Nate-ized ugliest room in America according to Harpo polls. But I do own up that certain days it does smell like a hospital. To keep my house in considerable, livable order, I have to go through what I may have insinuated as an anal retentive obsession. Remember, my middle name is hyperbole.

I was tearful because I just had too much to do. Also because I was not responsible for most of the mess. My mess is just the Kilimanjaro of unfolded laundry lah. Tu je. I managed only minimal clean-up while I was sick for nearly a week and slacked in my housework. By the time I could safely stand up and not feel woozy, the house looked as if a major typhoon had hit it. Okay, I exaggerate. Tapi Ya Rabbi bersepahnya laaaaaaaaaah!! Next time I get sick, I will touch up-touch up and pack the whole brood to a service apartment. Duit boleh cari, ngamuk bawak misery, kat hotel orang lain cuci. Gua pun tak sakit hati.

After I made Che Anwar his Chilli Corned Beef ( apa saja la orang sini makan eh?), I got into my dirtbusting gear. I started cleaning at 10 am and finished at 4pm, with breaks in between. I was flat like a punctured tyre the karong guni man rejected. I was just about ready to duduk kaki atas kaki, those two were itching to go out.

That's the thing with apartment(HDB lah, eksi borak pulak dia) living. Small spaces make a little clutter look like a gangrenous eye sore ( eyes can get gangrene one meh?). And you can only subject yourselves to such claustophobic conditions for half a day and you must get out and touch the grass and look at the trees or the stretches of reclaimed land turned sandy beaches. Eh, you know, Che Bedah, the sand on some beaches down here were imported from our country you know. You can't begin to imagine how much Malaysia is there in constantly expanding Singapore.

Anyway, off we went to Punggol Beach.

Waaah. Dekatnya Johor seh.

If I wasn't so tired, I'd definitely swim over to Pasir Gudang which was sepelaung so close to the beach where I was standing.Tak bedek. Oh well, even my skodeng binoculars did not salve my homesickness. I was supposed to go back on the 11th but Mom and Dad will only be back on the 12th. Which means, I can only make a trip up on the 18thlah, the weekend after. Seksa.

Bila ku rindu akan ku sebut namamu....

Food glorious foodlah.

The Singaporean fare is exquisite yet I crave for the simplicity of my lauk-pauk, kueh-mueh kampung ese.

Ikan Parang Masak Pindang.

Assam Robush Batang Keladi.

Masak Lomak Siput Sodut.

Assam Podeh Ikan Apo Apo Pun Buleh lah

Pajeri Noneh

Itik Masak Ghompah

Ikan Glamo Gogheng

Masak Lomak Ghobung

Ikan Smilang Panggang Blado

Samba Blacan Campur Binjai ko Tempoyak ko....

Kueh Kelopong

Tapai Ubi

Penganan Talam

Lempeng Klapo

Dan banyak laie lahh...Koso an doh!

Lopeh tu, we went to the hardware shop because I needed some stuff for the house. A longer hose for the mini reef, superglue to repair Aishah's new sandals, the tassles dah dibega-begakannya; and a small saucepot as a treat for my housekeeping accomplishments, oh well, must get something for myself or else it would not be called shopping eh?

When we got home, I readied for my attempt to save Aishah's 40 dollar sandals. Mangkuk punya OngkoshBolos, dua kali pakai dah tercabut.

Squeeze. Smear-smear. Pat-pat. Press.

Omaaaaaaaaaaaaak!

su·per·glue

Pronunciation: 'sü-p&r-"glü

Function: noun: a very strong glue; specifically : a glue whose chief ingredient is cyanoacrylate that becomes adhesive through polymerization rather than evaporation of a solvent

"Stuck in the Middle with You"

Based on the performance by Stealer's Wheel

"Stuck with My Own SuperGlue"

Parody by Merry & Pippin

Well I knew that SuperGlue cap was tight

When it flew off then it gave me a fright

I'm so scared - I think I'm stuck to this chair

And I'm worrying I got lots in my hair

Thumb stuck on my left hand - fingers on my right

Here I am - stuck with my own SuperGlue

Yes I'm stuck with my own SuperGlue

And I'm wondering how to stop all this flow

I'm afraid I've glued the cat to my face

Oozing around here it's all over the place

Gummed up my left eyelid - jammed open the right

Here I am stuck with my own SuperGlue

Well now ev'rything I'm touching

Is adhering at the speed of light

Soon my skin I must be peeling

Clothes stuck to my back and I scream, scream

Try to pry my hand from the wall

But I can't see 'cus it's in my eyeball

Now my foot's cemented fast to the floor

And I don't think that I can hear anymore

Wood stuck in my left ear

- crayons in my right

Here I am stuck with my own SuperGlue

Well I should have used some Elmer's

Or just tied stuff with a rubber band

Now my face is all distorted

Glued into a permanent crease, crease

Now I know that that adhesive was tight

And my rescuers they saw a strange sight

Smiles to the left of me - laughter to the right'

Cus I am stuck with my own SuperGlue

Yes I am stuck with my own SuperGlue

Stuck with my own SuperGlue

Yes I am stuck with my own SuperGlue

Okay, okay, I just got my thumb and my index finger bonded, tak le se-overacting lagu yang tersebut di atas. Since my rockstar is at home today, buat-buat manja lah. But my manja backfired as my being melodramatic screamed bloody murder. Panic members. Gua overacting je lebih. As I felt my finger adhere to each other, forming a permanent OK sign, Aishah was frantic thinking that I was in great pain, and wailed. All pandemonium broke loose.

The first thing that came across my mind was, "Gimme baby lotion! Quick!"

Didn't work.

After what looked like a mini saie , running back and forth, Anwar decided to google for home remedies. He found that aceton would help. Whoa...apa eh aceton tu?

Ha,nail polish remover lah!

But then, I don't use nail polish.

Aiyo.

Okay, now what?

Dip fingers in hot water and wriggle them loose.

Mak ngko...masak!

Didn't work.

My hulubalang in pelikat ransacked my store room and found a paint thinner.

He could not find my stainless steel bowl and decided to empty a tin of condensed milk to store the thinner. Luckily there was an aluminium ashtray on my dish rack, so I didn't have to dip my fingers into a tin and risk a cut or two.

Already grimacing in pain from the hot water bath, 3 minutes dipping in don't-know-what caustic substance, my poor fingers turned crimson yet still very much polymerized together. I got a brainwave and hollered for a cottobud. Gently scrapping and rubbing the glue off while reciting the same zikir I recited when I gave birth to Aishah, my pruny and red fingers were unstuck. The heat from the thinner penetrated through my nails and burnt my cuticles. By then I was crying real tears with Aishah doubly hysterical, Anwar prepared an ice bath for my poor traumatized fingers.

Tobat nasuha, I am swearing off Superglue for good. Lucky thing I did manage to fix those sandals. Otherwise, I'd find a way to sue Ongkosh Bolos.