Does Not Hurt To Be Nice

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I think I have kept mum about this issue for far too long. I have been observing passively like a spineless coward, the ruckus over nitty gritty things almost with voyueristic fascination and had kept my protests very quiet in order to avoid conflicts with other people. But today my right thigh has been pinched and the pain has spread to my left. My tendons are twitching to kick some butts, but I choose deal with this as maturely as my brain capacity will permit. I will need you to help De Bono this thing with me like an adult, so that something reasonably proactive can be done.

****Please stop here if you have somewhere else to go, something else to do.Do a spasti, and come back when you have the time. Makcik Nazrah is going to pot pet pot pet a bit here. Sapa yang makan cili, sila la pegi minum susu untuk hilangkan pijar.

I am very sure all of you have noticed that a lot of bloggers have been swarmed by unsolicited verbal(textual?) assaults as well as Simon-esque (of American Idol fame) critical pots that have the propensity to call other kettles black. Some have even reached the pinnacle of bloghood stardom to have randy spoofs and a cult of protesters. Some has sadly closed down out of the sheer lethargy of having to put up with difficult people. Sometimes it brings about introspection of the very reason why a blogger blogs in the first place.

We all know that blogging is a free platform for self expression yet we have also agreed that blogging is a very public endeavor. When in public, there is a certain rule of conduct that we need to observe in order to maintain a certain degree of order. Even if you need to rave and rant selfishly about something, there is a chance that someone else might be reading what you have written and may take you seriously. If your blog is for your selfish indulgence and you would feel uncomfortable when someone throws at you a rotten cabbage, then please write a disclaimer or a simple guideline on how one should read your blog. I keep telling myself, in order to communicate effectively, one must make the conscious effort to communicate creatively. If one is not bothered to be nice to people, or one is just being nice to potential friends(with benefits) as a popularity campaign, please don't retaliate when bad apples are thrown at you. When dropping comments at other people's blogs, please understand that those people would someday pop over to yours and check you out. If your niceness contradicts the persona you paint on your blog, or you keep spitting to the clouds,please wake up and tell yourself that you brought this upon yourself and that your spew will fall smack on your pert little nose. If you do not care about what people say to you or about you, then behave as if you are not the least bit perturbed. If you do care, or somewhat affected by the negative energies when someone put forth ideas that criticizes yours, or someone not singing in tune with your chorus, the nice thing to do is check your work and apologise if your ideas do not sit well on other people's palate. When you are sorry. Say sorry. Not, "I am sorry I flipped, but..."

You are not sorry if you but-but like that!

And when somebody apologizes to you, have the grace to accept it and forgive him/her. Forgiving does wonders.

As far as my small circle of blogfriends are concerned, if I have gathered correctly, all of us are a bunch of peace-loving, family-oriented people with a hint of spunk and a lot of energy for life. Most of us here do not like spats, brawls and catfights. I have also noticed that almost all of you are also very in touch with your feelings, which justifies how sensitive we can get especially with regards to issues that are dearest to our hearts. Let's learn to live with each other okay, warts and all. A little respect goes along way.

I have found a simplified version of Rebecca Blood's The Weblog Handbook: Practical Advice on Creating and Maintaining Your Blog here . I think all of us would benefit from this.

The Etiquette of Weblogs

•Never, ever launch a personal attack on someone (especially other bloggers). Not only does this lessen your own credibility, but it also causes problems which are likely to never be resolved satisfactorily.

•If you ever become the victim of such a personal attack,the best policy is to ignore it. If you get involved, you are taking time away from the valuable construction of your own material

•Don't ask someone to link to your weblog... If he (or she) truly wants to
lead his readers to your site, he will do so at his own discretion.

•Always give proper credit where it is due when linking to others' websites or taking links from someone else's website

•If you will be unable to update your weblog for a while, inform your readers of when you plan on returning to its upkeep so they don't waste time checking it while you are away.

•Always warn readers if the content of a link may be something they will not approve of or simply will not want to see. Do this explicitly, in words, somewhere very close to the link itself.

•Try to answer as many e-mails from your readers as you can, but don't waste time doing it if it affects the development of your weblog.

The Ethics of Weblogs

•Only claim that something as fact if you know it to be true or can
prove it to be true.

•If you take material from online sources, link to it when you make references to it

•If you correct mistakes in an entry, make some sort of public notification of this (such as providing better links, or leaving the original entry intact and then creating another copy below it that is designated as more recent and correct).

•Add to entries at your leisure, but do not change (rewrite or delete) them, because others may depend upon your material to support their material via links, and for this to work your original material must remain unchanged

•If there is a conflict of interest in your entries, let your readers know about it.

•If a source seems questionable or is obviously biased, tell your readers that *before* you give them a link to the source, so they will be prepared to interpret it fairly.

Source:http://blogs.setonhill.edu/ChristopherUlicne/005090.html

Okay, De Bono time.

Sapa yang ada meeting ke, belum makan ke, belum mandi ke, selesaikan tanggungjawab anda itu dulu ok. Pot pet lama lagi ni..

I would like to propose a technique which one can keep handy when reading someone else's thoughts or ideas online, that are presented without facial expressions, intonation and are often very arbitrary.

Put on your multicolored De Bono thinking hats

When reacting to a presented idea, run this sequence in your head, before you open your mouth or before your fingers start rattling comments:

Red: Find out the existing feelings about the idea.

Yellow: Make an effort to find the benefits of the idea.

Black:Point out weaknesses,problems and dangers of the idea.

Green: See if the idea can be modified to strenghten the yellow hat benefits and to overcome the black hat problems

White: See if available information can help in modifying the idea to make it more acceptable ( if the red hat feelings are against the idea you got so far)

Green: Develop a final suggestion

Black:Judgment of the final suggestion.

Red: Find out the feelings on the outcome

For MRSM alumni, remember PMI (Plus Minus Interesting)?

Okay, kursus kemahiran berfikir dah selesai for now.

Now, let's have a little pot pet on pragmatics. Anedra's daddy-O can absolutely help me with this, take over the pot pet session pun boleh. Or even better, blog as guest at Anedra's if I may be so audacious to suggest.

In order to be able to participate in a conversation/social interaction in a relatively harmonious atmosphere, we must observe a certain degree of politeness. A series of maxims explains how politeness operates in conversational exchanges. That's what linguists call the politeness principle.

Geoffrey Leech's maxims

Tact maxim:minimise cost to other first; maximise benefit to other
Generosity maxim: minimise benefit to self first; maximise cost to self
Approbation maxim : minimise dispraise of other first; maximise praise of other
Modesty maxim: minimise praise of self first; maximise dispraise of self
Agreement maxim: minimise disagreement between self and other first;maximise agreement between self and other
Sympathy maxim: minimise antipathy between self and other first; maximise sympathy between self and other

And last but not least, a little pepatah hukum (legal maxims) for us to ponder upon, and I would appreciate it if Kakteh can translate it for us. Pastu sesapa yang boleh blog about the 7 habits of highly effective people (ke apa Br Riza?), please do. Melayu/____ (contoh je, bangsa lain pun masuk jugak, sila isi tempat kosong dengan jawapan yang sesuai) berpakat bermuafakat berkata sepakat takkan melarat, betul tak?

Adat bersendi Hukum

Hukum bersendi Kitabullah

Kuat adat, tak gaduh hukum

Kuat hukum, tak gaduh adat

Ibu hukum Muafakat

Ibu adat Muafakat

That's all the pot pet ke arah blogging berhemah I can afford for today.

This pot pet is primarily for myself to beringat and for us yang beradat dan beradab kalau sudi nak terima cadangan saya untuk berbaik-baik sangka dan menjaga adab, tertib dan tatasusila sesama bloggers. Kalau ada niat nak cubit peha kanan saya, tolonglah pikir baik-baik.
Jangan zalimi atau ditempelak orang yang diam-diam ubi.Wahai bad qi, gi main jauh-jauh...Nyah kau dari peha kananku.

Dah. Tu je

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